first light
making the sky blush
for settling into darkness
the brilliant sun
rising slowly
bleeding over
the blue lips of night
her cheeks flushed
even though
this kiss wasn't her first
...tada...
Comments
1 - 25 of 25
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wow
imagery was gripping and ripping.......wow..good one.......take a peak at mine....they can add color to ur cheeaks -
Very good analogies, This was my first read of your work and it leaves me wanting to read more. Thanks for the welcome.
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hey thanks for stopping by and reading. . . I appreciate it. smiles.
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"making the sky blush
for settling into darkness"
that was adorable and i loved it
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smiles. thank you! Thanks for stopping by and reading and leaving a comment. smiles.
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I like it. Really good.
~Kiwi
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thanks kiwi. smiles.
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i likes...
the metaphors are nice and juicy, doesn't leave you dry, entertains the imagine, especially liked "blue lips of night".
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Smiles. Thank you. I'm glad you liked it. Thanks for coming by and reading and sharing your thoughts.
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great write and great metaphor. You pulled this togther perfectly. It is amazing what you can pull from things of simplicity. Things that no one notice or take for grant. Any who great write sis and continue to pen. your bro joe.
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smiles, thanks Joe. I really appreciate that, i really do. Smiles. take care bro.
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lovely lovely metaphor! at first i was just like, ho hum, some well-written imagery about sunrises but that's it...then the last three lines put it all together.
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smiles, thank you. smiles, I'm glad that it turned out to be a little more than what you expected. Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts.
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loverly!
<3
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thaaaaaaaaaaanks. smiles.
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This is beautiful. I love the dawn-kiss metaphor.
Garrison
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THank you! Smiles.
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Another great poem!! You're talented.
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THank you very much! Smiles.
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I somehow saw the shift from setting to character coming, but didn't fully realize the nature of it until the end.
Very, very well played.
IC C
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thanks. I biked 20 min. to see the sunrise at 5 in the morning, and gave it my best to describe it in poetry.
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I think you're right, you did do your best...and if not your best, then darn close to it.
Consistently and curiously intriguing. That's how I would describe much of your work (that which I've had the chance to read).
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aww well thanks. I really appreciate that, that means a lot coming from you. smiles.
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wow. i absolutely loved the first 3 lines.
I know it seems I just like everything you write lately, and that i'm no longer being objective with it, but it's simply because the past few you've written have been stunning this one is no exception.
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smiles. well thanks. I appreciate that.
btw if you want another way to creep on me
I'm going to try and be keeping up http://breemuse.wordpress.com/
this now as well.... obviously some of it will overlap. Hopefully sooner rather than later I'll get some of my art stuff up there.
Anyway, this poem and the only picture I got before my camera died are on there and that's what made me think of it. . .
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