I came to a realization today.
Thoughts ripped themselves
violently from my mind,
and I was unable to stop
their rampaging course.
But perhaps this is for the better,
for now I cannot delude myself
into believing all the lies
that spring forth from my mouth
on a seemingly daily basis.
Even so, I can’t seem to stop
myself from crying--
tears are freely flowing
down my stricken face,
as I yearn for the end of this farce.
It seems as if there’s really
no way out of this thing
now that it has torn itself
from my already damaged mind,
aching for the outside world.
And while I may struggle against
this newfound revelation,
inside I know it’s true
and that’s what scares me the most
for I know of no one to turn to.
Friends I have, yet even they
would scorn me if they only knew
the truth about my dying soul--
they only know the basics,
which is why they don’t hate me now.
But one day their eyes will open,
and they will see things as I now do.
They will turn their backs on me
and pretend not to notice
as my spirit slowly crumbles…
Because this is what I have realized--
this is what will be haunting me
for the rest of my waking days:
my suicide is only a matter of time…
I have no reason to live…
Author notes
Whatever...it's a shitty poem, but I don't really care..hah!
Written March 18th, 2004
What did you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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really good work, i enjoyed it! and i know totally how you feel, but you will find reasons to live, at least one! I'm sure...
hugs
*iva* -
Lying to yourself is painful but the truth can tear you apart. Despite you may think, I know people who need you.
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'Thank you so much for stopping by and leaving comments on 'Alone' I'm glad that you liked it. It's not always easy to get into someone elses mind, especially when there is so much pain there, but I just try my best to understand. You write with same intensity and feeling that I expresed in my poem, but I only experience these feeling through talking with my friend, who has too many of his own demons. I wish you well I hope that you manage to find some sort of peace within yourself. Sometimes the biggest revelation we have is that actually, no one has the answers and that we are all just floundering around , just doing the best we can under difficult circumstances. This can be quite liberating.
I appreciate your kind words, enthusiasm and support for my work. Thanks again
Kat xxx -
Very nice, as is all your work. Honest, naked, and devestating. You have talent. That is your reason . . .
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Hey..thanks for your comments as well
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You have great stuff too. Suicide sometimes seems like the only answer but sometimes you just gotta take life blow for blow. Thats how I see it at least, thanks for your comments! They are greatly appreciated! Peace out,
Dragon -
awww there is pleaty a reason to live no matter how hard live gets. this poem is amazing. it is full of emotion and is just wonderful! great write!
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*shrug* It's how I feel..and I dunno..guess it just kinda hit me the other day while talking to Mike and Carla. They were asking me why I was suicidal and stuff, and then asking me why I was still here. The only answer I had was that I didn't want to hurt my friends by leaving them behind--I didn't want then to have to deal with my suicide. Otherwise..well..I really have no reason to live. And if you think it's scary..just imagine what I'm feeling..heh. Well..I don't really fear the realization..I just..I dunno..it's sad.
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Dear, this is very disturbing...i'm not sure I know what to say...but if you need to talk, i'm here...
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suicides not the answer, i'm pretty sure someone else aboves already said it as well. i really liked this one, you seem to have a great way with words, it wasn't shitty at all. brilliant write #~anya~#
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hey, this was a really great piece, just try and find someone to listen, if oyu commited suicide then the world would be losing a treasure, and although you may not think many people would see it this way, im sure there are some that would, suicide isnt the answer, just try and talk to someone, but this was a great piece... keep it up, please dont do anything you may later regret
if you ever need to talk im available on aim yahoo or msn, and on top of that my IM box is always open, so just talk to someone, you would be surprised how much it can help
jamo -
god damn it ica. you know i would never turn my back on you no matter what you did. You canb always trun to me. Ive told you that before and will always tell you that and mean it. I love you ica. Mark
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hey, escape with me tomarrow. This poem has made me wonder what it is about you that you hate so much. I will always love you. i could never imagine turning my back on you and ignoring you. You know that right? i love you and i would go to hell and back with you if thats what it takes for me to keep you here on earth.
-Isa -
Heh...yea..I know that..but at the same time..bleh..whatever..still don't know how to escape from the feelings and depression..heh
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suicide is never the anwser but at times it does seem to make sense it is never the right way
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