Pink petals swirl round --
entwined two lovers lay still
Princess and Peasant
In a list
A contest entry
- Five PW, One Fresh. by dieu..
800 points, ended June 19, 51 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Winner Takes It All ~ Alternative Rounds by SizzyFid.
731 points, ended July 1, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Haiku (contest) by Stargaze.
750 points, ended July 10, 51 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Why do you think they are there?
Comments
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I love the image you penned.
The syllable count in this haiku is 5-7-5, which is right on target. I think the judge was thinking that "swirl" was two syllables, rather than the one you counted. I agree with her comments on this haiku. It's a beautiful image. Haiku is a tough form to learn. Syllable counts in Japanese are a lot different in English, so often you'll see them with less than 5-7-5 when they're adapted into any language other than Japanese. I used to title all of mine until I found out that haiku aren't titled. Many haiku poets on AP will use their first line, or a variation of it, rather than coming up with a title, so they're aren't any additional images. I do that myself so I can keep track of all of them, and know which one is which. The most important thing is to not give away your AHA! moment, which some poets do with a title. I wrote at least 40 of them before I ever wrote an AHA! moment. This is one of my personal favorite forms. Well done!
Don
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Although the syllables do seem a little off, I really adored this piece. Simple, sweet, perfect.
I have an image of romance in my head, and this fits the prompt of forbidden love with ease. I don't know how you did it in so few words, but you did, and it was fantastic.
Yes, I love it indeed!
Come to the next round~ You made the finalists!
Congrats x
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