in theory,
silence is
beautiful.
a touchless, tasteless, bulging atmosphere
where
the emptiness
accumulates
in suspension.
.
but part of me
still prays, you know,
for the struggle of war:
the passion, the noise,
the fear of death.
because
when there's
no more blood
there's no
more ink,
only peace.
.
Author notes
title prompt: "i never meant to let you go"
A contest entry
- options. options. options. options. click. by tsukiyo.
400 points, ended June 16, 15 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
critique please.
Comments
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oh, lovely. the title and poem seem to be speaking about two different subjects. the poem seems more generally about passion and what its worth in our lives. the first half is very geometrically abstract and philosophical. the two parts weave together very fluidly from broad fringes to the point of the needle. the metaphors in the second part have a more substantial and particular meaning. the "you" is really anyone. to be alone is to run out of things to write about. well, i may be interpreting this far differently from how you intended, but i loved it. best of luck!
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Thanks for your lovely comment.
My poem's about poetry, or a lack thereof. Artists create better when depressed, don't they? But I have too much happiness to be writing poetry like I used to write. 
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..who are you?
This poem makes me want to read more of your work o.o.. -
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Why, thank you. I am DancingRed - http://allpoetry.com/dancingred, wishing I could still write poetry the way I did when I was fifteen.
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