I look through the stars
Searching for a fallen answer
But to no avail
The wind blows through pearls of starlight
Which bounce off my gleaming tears
because I still feel your hands,
As you reach for the sky
Can you hear?
Can you hear my hollow cries
Can you see the color of my eyes
Do you remember when I begged you please
Please don’t wake me from this dream.
The ocean isn’t enough anymore
My heart just can’t contain
All of my ashen rain
As my blood falls on the pillow
I fade away to a different place
These memories you’ve awoken
You can not control them
Can you hear my hollow cries
Can you see the color of my eyes
Do you remember when I begged you please
Please don’t wake me from this dream.
Shattered, shattered
I feel
Shattered, shattered
My mind
Shattered, shattered
Oh
Shattered, shattered
Shatter
Shatter the stars across the sky
Break the harmony of the horizon
A feather of truth screams in pain
because I still feel your hands
I wake up suffocating in memories I almost remember
I can‘t breathe
because I still feel your hands
because you make me remember
because I still feel someone’s hands.
(someone
someone
who?)
Author notes
{to my friends} I know I have explaining to do.
please just give me time.
A contest entry
- To Be Put On My Favorites List by Ted E Bare.
400 points, ended October 15, 248 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest - Fear is the oldest and strongest emotion of mankind by Miss Macabre.
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• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
what do you think of this song?
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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Very nice job with this piece.
Great imagery and flow throughout.
Bravo
♥ Kate -
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thank you.
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I am glad you listened to the poet below about chat speak. It is not the place for it, especially in poetry!
Beautiful piece here,
Thank you for entering.
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yeah I didn't mean to, didn't even notice lol
thanks.
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b/c should be because. It dulls the poem to use that short cut. But this was still an interesting write, and the repetition helped make it more intense. Thank you for entering and good luck.
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-blink- oh! ahahha, I didn't even notice I did that! thank you for the correction, fixing that now. 0.o
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I think I dont need the explaining.
I didnt know it effected you to this extent though.
We can talk when you want or need to.
Its a beautiful poem/song. I bet it will rock once you put a beat to it. -
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bluesy is about all it has going for it right now. ^^
well...there was a lot of stuff I left unsaid. :/
maybe.
the words..they just aren't there yet. -
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ahah, that sounds like a begging to me! !
yeah.
Okay.
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...a begging? what? @_@
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lol XPP
The blusey start??
Almost all your songs "start" like that in the begging, then you will mesh them and change them until you get it exactly like you want it.
That, my friend, is a fine begging. -
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ahaha, mmkay. :]
fragments of the melody are worked out but thats about it.
it hurts a bit to work on it right now. Dx
but I'll get around to it.
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oh a beginning is that what you were trying to say? lol
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oh, haha, yeah, I was trying to spell that *EPIC FAIL!*
XDD
That sounds good to me. -
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xD
ahhahaha, 'kay.
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beautiful
Even though this is emo, this is probably your best one. Very beautiful. I'm glad you got something out of that jerk too. My only issue...is that you sound like Yoda in the one part. This has a lot of song material in it. -
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oh thanks. =D
hmm, yeah I see what you mean.
I meant for the saying backwards thing to be whispered or the straight way words to be whispered and those sung, Imma try and figure out what sounds better when I can but for on here, it just looks weird so I'm going to removed it lol -
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That's the only way I think it could work out is if you did like what Hikki did in the song "Passion" for Kingdom Hearts II. It was backwards and sounded nice, but still yours is very Yoda XD sorry.
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thats what I was planning on doing, yeah it sounds cool in japanese but idk how great it'll be in english so I might just scrap it alltogether.
oh shut up. xD -
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It's in English, it's just sung backwards XD.
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oh lol
dude I knew about the backwards thing but I've never heard it I just had I think Brittany explain xD
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