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Rest In Peace

Time ceased for the sound,
an unrelenting rip.

Shortly beyond that moment,
eyelids became wings
stressing... attempts to escape 
this unforgiving anchor.

Reminiscent roots, swell to trip~
my roses so angry,
and overgrown.

I pause-
a listless puddle evaporating.




Author notes

Prompt is this picture:

Raw Emotion by `larafairie
http://larafairie.deviantart.com/art/Raw-Emotion-49830704


A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6
  • reminiscent....
    love that word always gives a write such a lovely feeling....
    also loving the closing line, emotionally felt piece, brilliantly penned as always

    Tasha


  • penman gold member
    June 25
    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    What a great write. And so very well expressed. Congrats on the bronze.


  • Pure Thought silver member
    June 11

    Edit | Reply
    Wow... look where you have come, from when you started here. You never seemed to feel you were good enough... you always were, but this is new level.
    Impressive.


  • Cannonsfire
    June 11

    Edit | Reply
    I think you write your frustration here, those thorns that block a path, where you can see the flowers in the beyond but can't quite reach them. It's emotional and raw. C


  • white stone
    June 11

    Edit | Reply
    that's raw indeed, that first couplet worked well. what a closer too. A good way to describe the erasure. thank for the take.

  • holy cow that is one hell of a closing line...
    very visual, I had to sit here for a moment and allow the picture to develop in my mind slowly

    You really outdid yourself with this write dear and I am sure you are going to be considered for a finalist
    this makes my write look like grade school crap... what the heck was I thinking? ( that's a backwards compliment by the way... lol) I really need to follow you around a bit and learn from you, perhaps you will inspire me to dig a bit deeper and then maybe I can at least advance to middle school... lmbo

    awsome write hun... good luck in the contest!

1 - 6 of 6