I am sitting in a room,
Clouded with smoke,
Bowing to the doom,
As I begin to choke,
I raise my hand to my lips and take a hit,
Inhale the death of which to come true,
I can't move I lay in fate as I bit,
Down onto my lip until it was blue,
Still I throw my head back and listen,
As the lighters in the room click,
The great blister on my thumb glisten,
As I continue to flick my bic,
I take another hit and I feel the death close in,
I slowly breath the stail air,
My life drawing near really thin,
Thinking to myself this isn't fair,
I lay back and try to not think of the pain,
Ripping through my system like a knife,
I begin to come down and feel the shame,
What have I done to my life.
A contest entry
- A Challenging Frenzy of Emotion by Jade Rain.
700 points, ended June 25, 35 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
tell me what i can do to improve?
Comments
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makes me wonder why you started in the first place? I lay back and try to not think of the pain,
Ripping through my system like a knife,
I begin to come down and feel the shame,
What have I done to my life.
can relate to this bruv, solid writing, very brave, just hope the strength is still with you, maybe il dare you to believe, someones watching over you? well done..ben
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Wow. I like this. A lot. It makes you questions addicitions (I'm assuming, I know- but go with it) and why they hold power of you, and why you cannot resist going back. I understand where you're coming from, although from a slightly different standpoint. I truely enjoyed this work, and I sincerely thank you for sharing.
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