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Of Time and Faith

Waiting
Watching
The clouds turn to black
Forgotten sonnets
Of old Gods
Their deeds
Their trials
Their faces between the cracks
Pinups, murderers, blasphemers galore
Breathing left shallow
Left lying on the floor
Lost in deceptions
Lies left untold
Listening to the truths
Wandering without a soul
We breathe but for nothing
Gasping, gaping, dying alike
Festering wounds of deceit
It is just another night
We bend
We break
We dream the same songs
Of hope, change, and happiness
Tears, stains of lust, pain
Broken left hollow
Our hearts set a flight
Just one more chance is all I ask
A chance to set things right
Deny me if you must
I may not understand
Through all of the years
And all of the fears
I take one final stand
You broke apart the memories
You tore apart my soul
Left me lost and thinking
With nowhere to go
You bleed in repetition
The answer always the same
Laughing as the sun sets
And the moon starts to gain
No, never you cry in your sleep
Dreams of broken hearts
And butterfly wings
I sit back in the corner
My eyes sunken
Head held low
Releasing the thoughts of the years left passed
My mind as clear as snow
Distant futures crossed in absolution
Of time and faith

Author notes

A recent poem. Laura said its great so ill take that.

Is time really of the essence ?

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 5 of 5
  • SueRee
    June 11
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    By Chance

    "One more chance", the phrase that resonates with all of us. You take us from the sharp edges of lust and pain into the loss and vacant heartedness of sitting in a corner, alone.
    "Years passed, my mind clear as snow" - what an image. I agree with Laura. Great write.


  • harrispoems silver member
    June 11

    Edit | Reply

    Very Good

    I like how use both short lines and long lines. For example, "Their deeds / their trials / their faces between the cracks." I think this gives a dramatic edge to this piece. I also think the rhyme gives it just the right seasoning.


  • Hallie Kavanagh
    June 11

    Edit | Reply
    I like the short abrupt lines. They added essence to the piece and really commanded that you pause and reflect on the strength of each line. Well done.


  • morgana raven Greeters member
    June 11

    Edit | Reply
    It is great I really love this piece sweetie. You are a wonderful writer, and I love to read your work
    Laura

1 - 5 of 5