a vision from another day...
when the sparrows died
people came into confusion
how the breath in the air
had left, air grown empty
so many souls in anguish
like Dante's vision
but it was Main Street at noon
when the fishes disappeared
and the seas became cloudy
filled with puffing clouds of gray
dark rain shadows dragged beneath
scraping life from the water
when hope died
as sweet waters were scarce
and as with those ancient facets of the sun
men turned to greed
as if the scarce drink
were like the scarce metals
and could transform existence into happiness
when love survived
it was a lonely shadow
in a copper desert
so long in both ends of day
but in darkness it gave praise
to the sisters of night, moon and stars
steadfast eyes to watch over mankind
rise, fall; and yet...rise.
Author notes
Monster jelly fish
It appears that climate and other possibly man made changes are affecting the seas in unusual ways.
http://dsc.discovery.com/news/slideshows/monster-jellyfish.html
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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here is a poem where the metaphors work as true imageries. So sad to think that people won't care till they see all dry and bare...
This is one of your best poems Howard.
The jellyfish is huge! Never saw (and never wish to see)something like that.
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This made me think of a book I've read called "when the singing stops". Nature is a reflection of the state of the world, but as you've pointed out, the big lights of the sky remind us to rise again... a poignant piece of writing this is, PK.
~ Nicolette
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Love how you gave that hope at the end of what otherwise felt like a heavy, apocalyptic piece! I think my favorite line of the piece was "when the sparrows died." From my background, I think of a sparrow as something that is watched over by the Creator." So my immediate feeling was sorrowful... as if His eye of grace had removed itself allowing whatever will to come. So for me, that opening was terribly heavy and bleak...and the confusion that followed the natural result.
But, I liked lots of other little goodies here too!
I didnt understand the description of the jellyfish as such, until after reading the article, but even still that sense of life being raped from the waters by some ominous force was dark and creepy.
The section on the greed of men without the presence of hope was telling, and true to human nature, I think. You portrayed the definite sense of lastness, if there is such thing... scarcity, I guess, is how you put it. Such a point... the way mankind scrambles in such a situation.
Wonderful the way you structured this with the various "when..." statements. I found the one on love particularly stunning, especially after all of the water images in the previous stanzas... the dessert became all the more dry... and what an ironic way to describe love...even among such depravity. Again, i think it speaks much as to man's nature. In the love stanza, I wasn't quite sure if the shadows or the dessert were "so long in both ends of the day." I assumed you meant the shadows.... meaning that the shadows were long in both day and night? Which is a profound statement... not just for the sake of the image.. but for the implications about the state of the sun.
Thus, the prominent darkness in the last section, which ironically, provides the background for praise... and again a reflection of the nature of man, but in this case, a more positive aspect. The resilience there amid so much loss is magnified so wonderfully.
I really like the title, too, and in retrospect, the way you used the ellipses to indicate that something had occurred before the ...rise. A cool effect.
This piece is signature PK as far as I am concerned. It bears all the natural imagery, both earthly and heavenly, and as that undercurrent of something deep and stirring beneath all the lines.
A truly excellent write!
ten
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I think the ideas here given a hard edge, sound a warning in an age of cavils, and disinformation. We see ice melt the size of a state or a country, and someone suggests our records are too short to tell if it is really warming; there is high priced psychology and instant logic to avoid action. We might be sure when apocalyptic events occur, as if ocean dead zones and the disappearance of whole species were not enough. AT any rate, thanks for your thorough and intricate comments and analysis- this is a subject that stays in my thoughts - the seas. Thanks for all...PK
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Yes, I see that... and rightly so. The seas are their own world, with as much going on as ever on dry ground. I think because their depths are hidden, except from the few, that so many take them for granted... not understanding (at least in practice) their intregal part to life on earth as a whole. The health and vibrancy of one affecting the other. And...the anomalies such as you have written about would indeed almost sneak up if signs are not heeded and change affected.
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Being a Discovery channel buff, it's happening everywhere, so unnecessarily sad isn't it. But it's poetry like this that make us open our eyes along with our hearts. Thanks PK.
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yes the Discovery people do a good job of these remarkable bits of nature. Truly i find "sea changes"...to be just that..the big things that are hard to do, and even harder to undo...thanks for all ...PK
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