I expected behavior like this from the others.
But, never from you.
Always hiding behind the mask of another.
You stole away my innocent world view.
Your words you preach.
Then, you turn around and demean.
You make fun of what some religions teach.
How much goes unseen?
You hit on me. How was I to know?
That you only wanted some action?
I crept up like a nervous kitten, taking it slow.
And, just as I suspected, there wasn't any passion.
By posting that sex tape, you showed the world who you really are.
Boy, jealousy isn't a sign of love. It's a sign of insecurity.
And, no-one cares that you're a big youtube star.
I just hope and pray that you will find some decency within yourself,
to admit and apologize for what you did.
But, I suppose you will always be a coward,
an atheist who lives in sin.
Author notes
Some atheists can be just as bad as those priests and can turn a person off atheism.
I'm spiritual agnostic now.
I'll try to write a more uplifting poem about the universe later.
Comments
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Intereresting.
My goodness not sure what to make of all this, an almost conversion. very unsual. hope writing it helped
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yeah, this was written after I had a strange encounter with an atheist on youtube. One of those many reminders to stay safe online. Writing about it helped a lot actually. I find it's better to express those thoughts and feelings rather than to keep them bottled up inside. If I didn't write, it would just get worse over time. I feel very lucky that things weren't worse, though. Thanks for reading and commenting.
Peace and love,
Haley Mary
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It seems in every religion we have those that turn us off. Do not be discouraged. I have Christian folk all over me because I befriend people of all persuasions.
I do wonder if there will be religious cults in my understanding of Heaven? Catholics to the left, Methodists to the right, Protestants to the rear, and Jews, Gentiles to the front. I mean come on...I don't think so.
I think the enemy of humanity is that which separates. I shake my head at religious zealots who become God in their judgmental ways. My Lord and Savior is Jesus Christ but I would never shove His presence in my life and living down your throat. That would make me a hypocrite because we all have a right, a choice to believe and understand according to our very own beliefs.
Your poem brought a lot of thought out of me. I love when poetry does that. Great work here poet!
Much Love & Respect ♥
Renee
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Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts, Renee. It was very hard to go through an experience like this, even though it was just online. But, what makes it really hard to deal with is that the religious people I try to tell the story to don't understand how I find it morally wrong coming from an atheist/agnostic standpoint. A lot of atheists were angry about the whole sex tape incident, honestly I had never seen the youtube atheist community so divided. All the events since July 5th 2008 seem like a bad dream. It also brings to mind a point of women's sexuality in society. The inequality that still exists despite the feminist movement and how women are still wrongly demeaned regardless of how they choose to live their lives and treat their bodies. If a woman remains a virgin she's a prude, if she puts out, she's seen as a slut. I'm not saying I view my gender this way, as I don't believe in judging people if that's what they choose to do with their bodies, but it's the way society views women that's a problem. Part of me is even terrified of telling the Apostolic church I go to this story despite the fact that I feel I need to talk about it so I can go through a spiritual healing process. I can not put into words how much my experience with youtube atheism has affected me. I can not have a conversation with an atheist on youtube or myspace without having my guard up. I do trust my atheist friends like R.J. and Joe, and my agnostic friends like Lucas and Amy, but I find now that if I come across a new atheist my age I tend to push them away for fear of getting hurt and I just can't seem to trust them.
Peace and love to you, fellow poetess.
Haley Mary
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Nice write Haley, really brings out powerful emotions. Good thing you caught the player before he played anymore with you. Take care of yourself always love reading your writes.
Charley
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Thanks, Charley. You know, it's funny, at first I thought Capn was just kidding because I thought it was odd that he would just randomly hit on me like that, but then I posted his comment on my author page and one of my friends saw it and messaged me and said my name and then I just played it cool, tried to emotionally connect with my subscriber and that's when I caught onto his game. I gotta be more careful out on the interwebs, eh?
Thanks for reading and commenting.
Haley Mary
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Jealousy, in general, is an ugly emotion, and it can bring to light emotions and insecurities you never knew you had. Anyone who can stoop so low to "get back" at someone is pathetic in my book. I'm not so sure I would accept his lackluster apology anyway. As they say: good riddance. It takes a strong person to walk away; an even stronger soul to move on with life.
I declared myself a pantheist many years ago as I believed atheism offered not an ounce of faith in anything I cared about. I'm a person willing to see the whole quilt and not just the single patchworks that make it up. I believe it is healthier to have a pantheistic view of the world and not corner yourself with one that is monotheistic.
Powerful, emotional, and full of strength to fight.
Always,
Brit
P.S. Thanks so much for the bronze! =)
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Thanks, Brit. yeah, I think that jealousy doesn't bring about any good things at all. if anything, I think jealousy would tend to drive people away rather than stay around. I think it was the hardest thing I ever had to do was walk away. I mean, the guy was only after one thing anyway, so it wasn't like it was a huge loss.
That's pretty cool you declared yourself a pantheist. You know, I've been considering not only pantheism, but also Buddhism. It offers the reincarnation views I write about along with an atheistic view of the soul, in nihilism anyway. I prefer the middle way, personally. That the soul or whatever energy changes and evolves over time.
Peace and blessings,
Haley Mary
P.S. You're welcome for the bronze. It was well deserved in my book.
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that was plain cruel.... jealousy... can never touch love in any form its the most stupid and insecure feeling in the world....
a beautiful piece done here dear I really appreciate the straightforward manner in which it is written ... a powerful write...
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Thanks. It was an incident that made me feel a loss of innocence. For some time I started to wonder who I could really trust in life and I also closed myself off from people and it wasn't until this past January that I started to open up more and make some new friends. I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment.
Haley Mary
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A jealous man will accuse you of doing what he is doing and do anything to hurt you if he can't steal and control your soul.
Your right about jealously not being a form of love.
It is sick, selfish, suspious, stupid, spiteful, stressful, and truns people away.
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Thanks, Judy. Yeah, I've noticed that with this atheist guy. He blames his problems on others and doesn't like to take any fair responsibility for what he says and does. Hence, why people tend to run away. Thanks for reading and the nice comment.
Haley Mary
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Excellent thoughts dear lady, You are right when you say jealousy is not a sign of love but of incecurity
Well done
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Thanks, Angelo. I appreciate you reading and commenting on this piece. Hope you have a good week.
Haley Mary
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This is a powerful piece. Personally I try to work to separate people from belief's and know that whether God exists or not is something that is regardless of the way people act, and in searching for the truth, one must at times remember that people are not perfect regardless of their association.
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I suppose that can be the case a lot of the time, but this atheist was a guy who was very against the exploitations and mistreatment of people in the east by terrorists and some could say that is more of a political issue than a religious one, as not all religious people believe in violence. Anyway, this guy posted a video of himself and another woman online without her consent doing the deed, so to speak. Just didn't seem like the moral thing for an atheist or anyone to do, you know?
Thanks for taking the time to read and comment. I appreciate it.
Haley Mary -
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I agree with you 100%. I was just pointing out a mistake that some make. Looking at people to determine whether God exists simply does not make sense. The question of whether God exists is a significant one, and it's a shame when people get confused in their searches.
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Nicely Written
A nicely written poem I quite liked it,tinged a little
with bitterness about Atheists, Haley I think what turns
some people against religion is the hypocracy of some church goers who think if they turn up every sunday
it gives them a feeling of superiority and an insurance to prevent them going to hell if they sin all week.I believe in a creator but I dont accept the
man made trappings of some organised religions.
Land ownership for example,in Poland the Catholic church was the biggest land owner and the main reason
for its oppositon to the Communists was because they shared the land out amongst the landless peasants was purely economic and un christian.
Sorry if I have gone on a bit but I hate hypocracy
Best Wishes and Kindest Regards ...George... -
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Thanks, George. The sin and hell parts were what I never liked about church, either. I've started to adopt a more pantheistic view of life and the universe, though. I don't necessarily think God exists within the universe, but more that what people call the universe and what people call God is essentially the same thing.
Personally I've always like religions like Buddhism more because of the concept of karma and of course reincarnation. It kind of gives people more responsibility for their actions, rather than just punishment for sins.
Thanks so much for reading and sharing your thoughts.
Peace and blessings.
Haley Mary
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Wow~
When I got to the sex tape part
I almost lost my lunch~
Oy!!!!
It is amazing what people do- and Oh My~
very sad to digest the repercussions...
So sad~Excellent this is Precious One
Thank You for sharing Your Voice
Best wishes in all You do
with love & light~ Desire~*~
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Thanks, Desire. It is quite astounding what lengths people will go to. What's even more astounding is the guy still hasn't apologized for what he has done. He re opened his channel recently. Not sure what he is going to say once he decides to make another video. Thanks for always taking the time to read and comment. Much appreciated.
Haley Mary
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Great write Haley!! Very different, but I liked it The last line was perfect and that's what I was thinking too. But then again we all have sin, no one is perfect, some just seem to always carry it around with them.
Great write! Sorry I've been MIA lol.
Blessings,
~Michaela~
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Thanks, Michaela. I suppose the last line is a tad odd since atheists don't really believe there is anyone to sin against. I guess it could be like the law of karma, though. What we do in this life comes back to us later on, either in this life or possibly in the lives to come.
Glad to see you around. Peace and blessings.
Haley Mary
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LAst line of AN how did you know what I would be thinking. lol
It is well written with strong feelings.
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lol. Never thought of it that way, the living in sin part. I guess if most atheists went by the bible, they would think they were living in sin. But, I think a lot of my atheist friends from the states would agree that most atheists are like everyone else and live moral lives.
Thanks for the support as always. Hope you're having a great week, Buddy.
Haley Mary
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