Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Marsh Mallow Rose ...

The songs I sing to sisters
or to brothers passing by,
much like voiceless conversations,
that rely on eye to eye.
My crimson heart’s pulsating
like the rhythm of the tide,
that greets a rushing river
with that silent sort-of-sigh.

You’ll never hear my whispers
to the hummingbirds or bees,
nor realize I’m dancing
with each southern summer breeze,
And come each fall, I slip this place
before the frosty freeze - -
share final toast with boggy ground,
and final waltz with leaves.

Like an imprint, left by twister
that remains by a loved one,
in days of dormant solitude
I’ll redo what’s come undone,
‘til spring at last, spreads ‘round her scent
at those seasons yet to come, 
Now clad in gown of phantom fare
I must muse with star and sun … … …


© 2009 Joy Burki-Watson

Author notes

Sights & Sounds //////// of Silence

Options: All options are from POV'S

10. Flower

I love the use of color, texture, all senses and try to share accordingly?

A contest entry

All comments are appreciated / answer in kind!

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • liquidmindforever gold member
    June 20

    Edit | Reply

    Wonderful from Start to Finish

    Dear Poet,

    Thank you for entering my contest Sights & Sounds of Silence, Prompt, Option Plus Word Bank Contest with you submission "Marsh Mallow Rose."

    The title is brilliant foreshadowing the dazzling
    contents.
    So very well done.

    WISHING YOU THE BEST in my contest,
    Until then,
    stay
    liquid


  • leo2
    June 15

    Edit | Reply
    If this isn't top shelf material then you won't find me rummaging through your drawers looking for other treasures...lol. Best of luck in the contest.

    Sincerely,
    Leo Long


  • Aesthete2000 gold member
    June 11

    Edit | Reply
    Ah, joy, I see it, I hear it,
    I feel the pulsing rhythm,
    Oh, the mention of the twister,
    the imprint...reality striking,

    A very fine piece.

    M-C

  • montez gold member
    June 11
    Edit | Reply
    IMHO!

  • montez gold member
    June 11

    Edit | Reply

    It may be just me but...

    .....I struggled with the flow of this piece in places.
    Also, I believe you've split each line in half.
    Anyway, I'm being a bit pedantic ; it's not that bad - just not top class.
    Regards,
    Robin.


  • pixiestix gold member
    June 10

    Edit | Reply
    Silence heightens our other senses and what vivid and beautiful visions you've create before my eyes.

    Wonderful read with a flow like the rhythm of gentle tides.

1 - 6 of 6