Two of my friends who are both in fashion
Secretly harboured a consuming passion
Freddy is male and Louise is a wench
And both of my muckers detest the French!
Freddy will say, "Oh Louise, ma cherie
J'aime your long legs they’re as nice as can be
Also my love I'm inordinately fond
Of sitting with you by this beautiful pond.
But tell me my dear, would you find it a wrench
If I carried a rifle and shot all the French
They all smell of garlic and have massive noses
Their arrogance knows no bounds, one supposes?"
She replied, "Freddy lad, don’t be so cruel
I hear that the gendarmes are nobody's fool
Although it’s a fact and not just a rumour
That all the French have no sense of humour!
Winston warned us about Charles de Gaulle
He said that he had no manners at all
His necktie was splashed with traces of gravy
And he got rather vexed when we blew up his navy.
For eight hundred years of history,
We’ve beaten the French up regularly
Even at drinking, we can outsup ‘em
I think you’ll agree, they don’t like it up ‘em.
I would also like to mention as well
How masculine is your outer shell”
I suppose you’ve guessed now, without fail
That Louise is a frog and Freddy a snail!
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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What a surprize at the end! There is truth in this here poem, especially for you. Have you gotten to Australia yet? or the Caribbean?
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Ha, ha, hee, hee ...
and your poem, while displaying a wee bit of prejudice, is rather fun and the ending makes one return for a second read just to double check what I might have seen in a different light. Cute, joy
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I wondered what the punchline would be when you claimed Two friends
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Another nice piece full of your usual tolerance and goodwill to our fellow Europeans and your new compatriots.
Good one Robin
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I'm very fond of my new compatriots Jimbo - in the main, they are good, decent, honest people (unlike the inner city Brits), who put the family above everything else ; but they (generally) DO have some annoying traits and idiosyncracies, not least of which is that they ALL, to a man (and woman), believe France to be the world leader in virtually everything, and the centre of the universe.
I saw a map recently, in a humourous book, which depicted France at the centre, with the name FRANCE in huge letters, and all the neighbouring countries titled NOT FRANCE - I think that sums them up best!
They are all totally obsessed with food - it is the most important thing in their lives ; it dominates everything. The main meal is lunch, and the whole of France closes down between 12 and 2pm.
To give you an idea, I play in the Seniors team for my local golf club, and, every couple of weeks, we travel away ; MILES ; to play. We go as far as Nimes, which is almost 2 hours away. When we play there, we have to leave at 6am, so that we're there in time to start and finish by 12 noon, so that the French aren't late for the most important part of the scene.
They are also incredibly arrogant about their way of life - even down to what drink to drink, and WHEN!
Pastis (of which there are 20+ choices, Ricard, 51, Pernod etc) MUST be taken as an aperitif BEFORE eating ones dinner (which is not eaten until 8 or 8.30pm!) Woe betide any Brit drinking pastis AFTER eating, which I do sometimes, just because I LIKE it. The French will bollock you for doing it.
Anyway, thanks for your support.
Kind regards,
Robin.
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oops, forgot these!
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This was pretty funny, and the fact that you rhymed well? Well, I loved it. Most of the rhyme I see is immature and cliche (I'm sure you've seen all the instances of pain/rain and love/dove/above rhyme known to mankind), but this is something different.
Great work. -
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It's very kind of you to read and comment.
Also, thanks for the clap!
Robin.
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haha, interesting write...it kept me entertained so i could say it was good
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tks.
R
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Je suis never guessed at les, la, le denouement - I think this poem has legs - FROG'S LEGS.
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Your grasp of the French language is only surpassed by your charm Duckbillguts.
Luv,
Robbing. -
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C'est ne pas loin d'ici
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What's not far from here Ducky?
R.
PS Gramatically incorrect encore :- drop the "ne", which should be before the verb anyway : "C'est pas loin d'ici" would be better.
R. -
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My ancient "Learn French the Daily Express Way in 27 days" has it my way but as this was a very long time ago it may be that ancient French is spelt differently.
nb Quest que c'est would I know?
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This made me smile. I wonder if anyone will be annoyed enough by this to post
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I don't care if anyone IS annoyed old lad.
I live in France - all the above is true!
Tks 4 bananas ec.
Regards,
Robin.
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I always have such fun reading your poetic masterpieces Robin and it's a shame they are so few and far between 
Always a most entertaining read
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My Dear Jules,
You'll have to start going out more!
R. -
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What...and possibly miss being first to comment ? Hmmmmm...maybe I DO need to get a life
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