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~When Coolie had his groove~

Missing image

 

 

She pulls her hair up off her

shoulders some of it falls loose as beads

of sweat run down her silky back.

 

 

 

 

 

 

drinks water from the hose and

the water runs out of her mouth

over her young breasts, cooling her in

the sultry heat of the afternoon.

 

 

 

 

 

 

not one curtain moved in the windows

as he watches her from across the street,

picturing himself close to her, sharing

that same hose as she drinks.

 

 

  

 

 

 

he was thirsty as all hell; he didn’t know

what needs he wanted quenched more. 

 

 

she knew

 

 

 

he would be looking

like he did every afternoon, he had

an aching for that sweet thing, so juicy

he could taste her like a ripe plum.  

 

 

 

 

 

between the both of them, they had the

best damn time trying to keep cool in this

summer heat and that made her laugh.

 

 

 

 

 

Yup they used to sneak off at night in

his new blue Chevy pickup truck, with a mattress

in the back, they were as tight as a rope, caught stars

with their eyes learning a new religion.

 

 

 

 

and one day they got into that pickup truck

never looked back. that was 40 some odd

years ago.

 

 

 

 

cant seem to get rid of that old pickup

truck though, he says with a smile,

"too many good memories, reminds me

of sweet plums in the Summer time".

 

Author notes

all photography by whitestone

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 99 of 110     1 2  next >  (show all)

  • Swan song gold member
    October 30
    Edit | Reply
    I think this is simply devine in a big way!!!!! I loved it loved it loved it!!!!!


  • Kendal Palmer gold member
    October 26

    Edit | Reply
    awesome!! I am speechless...I see you have a silver trophy for this...I absolutely think you should have gotten the gold...This was senuous without being downright erotic...I loved the ending...You are really a great writer...Glad we have crossed paths...I hope I can learn something from you...thank you for sharing!!!
    peace & light,
    Kendal


  • spiritraven
    October 23
    Edit | Reply

    Very good

    The raw emotion flows from the words. Such a young and tasteful verse. I love the end.
    Good work


  • hawkeslake gold member
    October 22

    Edit | Reply
    This is a great story of both lust and love -- you've given us a little movie with tenderness and depth of feeling. Very well done and certainly deserving of shiny! Lita

  • Topnotchsy
    September 15
    Edit | Reply
    I know I read this before, but I can't help but wonder as I enjoy it again how this poem did not win gold. Stunning write!!


  • Xianaria gold member
    August 9
    Edit | Reply
    This one made me smile Sweet plums in the Summertime...
    Congrats on the Silver!

    ~ Tim


  • penman gold member
    July 23
    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    Oh my what a great write. And so very sensual. Congratulations on the silver.


  • Draig aine gold member
    July 8

    Edit | Reply

    congradulations on the silver

    oh my what a picture you have painted in words

    not one curtain moved in the windows

    as he watches her from across the street,

    picturing himself close to her, sharing

    that same hose as she drinks.


    most excellent indeed


  • Swan song gold member
    June 30
    Edit | Reply
    oh my this is really a beautifully woven story of a poem Wow goose bumps!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


  • sheltered
    June 27

    Edit | Reply
    so glad I picked this one to return the favor on
    damn that was hot
    i might have to go out now
    still two hrs before the bars close


  • Soft-Rain gold member
    June 26

    Edit | Reply
    I loved this one, the imagery was very delightful to say the least. The fact that you played with a memory made it so interesting. I enjoyed this sweet treat.

    s
    ~Lisa~

    • Rend the Veil gold member
      August 8
      Edit | Reply
      I am sooo sorry I have dropped the ball,
      let me cover and return the favor, I am
      sure you have some thing awesome for me'
      to read thank you so much for stopping
      Blessings

      Rend

  • Topnotchsy
    June 24

    Edit | Reply
    This is the second poem of yours I've read today and your ability to paint 3-dimensional characters in just a few stanzas is amazing!!


  • BlancetNoir gold member
    June 20
    Edit | Reply
    what a vivid and marvelous story, beautifully told. really love this a lot, a pleasure to read.


  • BluesMan gold member
    June 17

    Edit | Reply
    Whoa, hunka hunka burning love. This is one hot write, This poem did what viagra couldn't do. I'm in a hell of a lotta pain, but this poem made me forget about it for ashort sweet wile. This is one smokin hot write, but you did it with class and I love the nostalgic ending. Bravo Pant Pant Heheh

    • Bill,

      you are such a sweeties heart! and your comments are so encouraging
      Blessings to you

      Rend


  • Aalta silver member
    June 17

    Edit | Reply
    the story is so beautiful... great work specially the way you have put the "looking back" part and woven it together with present.... ah sweet

    • Aalta,

      thank you so much for your comment, i will return the favor

      Blessings

      Rend


  • Ademon
    June 17

    Edit | Reply
    That was.... AWESOME! I love how you go from what seems like present to future and then memories of the past, it was put together extremely well and totally didn't see that coming! I thought you were going one way with it, and totally didn't. Great write!!!!


  • Tyl3r
    June 16
    Edit | Reply
    Wow. Awesome. It really remids me of a mid summer relationsip.


  • aboomer silver member
    June 16

    Edit | Reply
    Loved the story - especially the ending! Great imagery and emotion in this. I really enjoyed it. best wishes in the contest.

    • thank you so much for your comment. I am glad you enjoyed this write Blessings Rend


  • jessica2009
    June 16
    Edit | Reply
    great read and kept me hooked.

  • Fantastic work This is very well penned, with good use of emotions and imagery.


  • EbonyQueen48
    June 16

    Edit | Reply
    This is AWESOME I enjoyed the story it told and it caught you off guard because you thought he was talking mostly about the girl but he was talking about his truck, Great imagination!

    • lol i know i liked your take, yes i have to agree, you know a man and his truck, thank you so much for your comment Blessings Rend

  • This is fantastic and I loved how you ended it - beautifully written - flows smoothly and what a story it tells - best of luck in your contest I really enjoyed this

    • MysticRayne, Thank you so much for your comment. and applauses, I am on my way over to return the favor Blessings Rend


  • SpydurPoet gold member
    June 15

    Edit | Reply

    WOW

    That was absolutely beautiful. It's too close to my heart right now for me to say I didn't cry as I read it. Wow. Good luck in the contest. It deserved gold.
    Write on.
    ~*~SP~*~

    • Oh I am sorry, sweeties,
      you cried, you heart so tender thank you so much for your comment

      Blessings

      Rend


  • catz Moderators member
    June 15

    Edit | Reply
    This is a very visual and sensual. The images brought forth in your words create moving pictures of love and lust in the summer heat.

    To read this piece is to feel his eyes staring, wanting, her teasing gestures wantonly stirring his loins. It's a superb write, well done, realistic and romantic.

    Good luck in the contest

    Dee

    • Thank you Dee,
      I was so excited you stopped by and commented. yeah!
      and to recieve an awesome comment as yours too!

      I was Blessed

      Rend

  • Bob Fox
    June 15

    Edit | Reply

    Rend

    A vision of love and lust. The perfect mixture. And memories forever wonderful. That old pick up. Just a little part of heaven. Excellent write.

    • you comment said every thing in a nut shell, and for your applause's,
      Blessings

      Rend


  • geckogirl silver member
    June 15

    Edit | Reply
    a cheeky piece... lol one thing we know how to do, is use our body to get attention.. you penned with brilliance hon, a wonderful story that has lasted through the years of time... a sweet marriage made in heaven or of sweet plums in the Summer time

    • Oh Susan,

      your comments are so precious to me, I am glad you saw the humour in it
      I think it was the sweet plums, he he Lol

      Blessings

      Rend


  • ShelleyA gold member
    June 15

    Edit | Reply
    A lovely write. Beautiful memories of love expressed in this piece. Deep expression of emotion. Delightfully sensual. Good imagery, flow and tone. Vivid descriptives. Nice use of simile. A delightful story of lasting love. Well penned. Best wishes in the contest.

    • Thank you so much for your indepth comment,
      I am glad you enjoyed, I will return the favor,

      Blessings

      Rend


  • MJ Donnelly gold member
    June 15

    Edit | Reply
    Awesome, with natural sensuality that lingers.

    …remove the s off the end of ‘odds.’

    • Thank you for the Help, you are such a sweeties
      for that, and for the applauses,

      Blessings

      Rend

  • I love the story and the fragrance spent
    of the love the two found from the hose they shared
    forty years there love still strong this day
    happy was the mattress and truck they so played
    I love this so well said and penned
    memories for them well sent Hugs Angel♥

    • Thank you AngelBelleRose,
      many blessings to you and for stopping by

      Blessings
      Rend


  • In Too Deep1
    June 15

    Edit | Reply
    Oh my! This is a very intriguing writ. I loved the story line and flow, as well as the sensual but reminiscent memories penned in the imagery and emotion filled lines. This is truly a treasure, and I am certain that it will do quite well in the comp. A most enjoyable read. Best wishes

    • thank you for your comment, I am ever so pleased to have you
      come visit and for your applauses,

      Blesssings

      Rend


  • Amera gold member
    June 15

    Edit | Reply
    Oh! This is one of those poems that ends much to soon. I think it's totally captivating. Your imagery kept me spellbound.

    Love,
    Amera

    • Amera,

      I am so blessed to have you read, and applauses
      much thanks to you

      Rend

  • It's sexy, it's sweet, and it's very, very neat.

    Yes I do likey. heh


  • Sheli silver member
    June 14
    Edit | Reply
    mmmmmm, that is wonderful, deep, stirring, i loved it

    • Hello My Treasure,

      Thnak you so much for your comment and applauses,
      I will be other there shortly

      Blessings

      Rend

  • Sweet Sis, I absolutely love this, so vivid the tale and is filled with good ol' fashioned fun. Wished I could get comments like the one below. Love you, hun.

    • Sissy,

      Thank you so much, yes i understand what you mean, its like my first too and
      I am so humbled by it! "good ol' fashioned fun" is the best kind!

      Blessings

      Rend

  • You Don't Need My Comment

    Dear Rend :
    After reading all those comments on this piece , you really don't need mine . I'm 58 , so I know about
    old pickups . And "Oh God" is a fine religion practiced in the heat of a summer night . I won't repeat what the others said . But you are a true writer . And you write with clarity and flavor . I wish there were more like you . But you are all this world needs or deserves . Good luck in the weekly contest . I think you'll do well .

    Greenwolfe 1962

    • I am so wowed, and most humbled by your comment,
      I chuckled to my self as i read, because you understood exactly what i wrote! ["Oh God" is a fine religion practiced in the heat of a summer night ] thank you so much for your indepth comment and applauses.

      many blessings to you Sir.

      Rend


  • Lexie
    June 14

    Edit | Reply
    wow i loved this
    so romantic and the entrance is sexy
    i love it thank you for posting this that way many of us can read such good work =]

    • Lexie, I am so glad you made it back this way,
      it always a pleasure to have you read,
      and thank you so much!

      Blessings Sis,
      Rend


  • awannabepoet
    June 14

    Edit | Reply
    Very nice imagery and the worlds flow so well, this is quite the read and very sensual indeed.

    I like it, I like it so!

    • It was so sweet of you to come by,
      I really didnt expect it! but i am blessed
      None the less,

      Blessings

      Rend

      • awannabepoet
        June 14
        Edit | Reply
        Hi Rend, I am sorry I did not come around soone, I could never figure out how to see your poems. I had to click on Sidebar to finally see the list and now I can see what I have been missing.


  • Antebellum
    June 14

    Edit | Reply
    Yup they’d been sneaking off at night in

    his new blue pickup truck, put a mattress in the back,

    they were as thick as thieves, caught stars

    with their eyes and learned a new religion.


    amazing imagery.
    this is a wonderful write. good luck in the contest.


  • penman gold member
    June 13
    Edit | Reply

    Wonderful

    Very creative and well expressed. Such great images you painted, best of luck in the contest.

  • friend
    June 12

    Edit | Reply
    "caught stars with their eyes and learned a new religion"

    sighs...i love this line


  • poppa
    June 12

    Edit | Reply
    ahhh these are the memories we'd all like to look back upon.. nothing like getting sloppy in the jalopy
    good luck in the contest


    • now i am going to scream LMAO getting sloppy in the jalopy lol! that was so dang funny!
      and i needed that! thank you Rob.you are so vivid! ha ha

      Rend


  • SteveS gold member
    June 11

    Edit | Reply
    The sweet smell of summer love! I love the way you vault the reader forward in time, contemplating the memory. The hose running over, etc...was hmmm...provocative! Great write.

    • Yeah i had to throw a tad bit of sensuality in there,
      cause we all feel these emotions and we tend to forget
      older people have them. thank you so much for your comment

      Blessings

      Rend

  • The way this is written is so sumptuous and vivid, it makes the reader think and feel that they are reflecting on one of their own memories.

    Beautifully realised.

    Good write.

    • thank you so much for stopping and commenting
      Blessings to you always

      Rend

  • Very well done, I started reading and thought OH, this is in bad taste;

    you got me good! lol

    A sweet memory indeed and just the way I would image he holds many thing. holds them and holds them dear.

    great job
    ken

    • as adults we tend to forget that older people have had experiences
      such as the one that i wrote about or slightly different, if he is any thing like
      a the sweet dear man i know,he would say. "I had a great time with the filly's" "Got to love him " . and i wrote this write with no disrespect to Mr Coolie

      Blessings always,

      Rend


  • Sandygram silver member
    June 11

    Edit | Reply

    Hugs and Smiles Dear Niece

    This was so delightful to read this morning.
    A good time with memories and an old truck. I think we can all relate too this with something old in our lives from the past. Thank you for sharing.
    Take care, Auntie Sandy

    • Thank you Aunt Sandy,
      memories even an old truck can still feel good to the
      soul.

      Blessings & Love

      Rend


  • Rose Angel gold member
    June 10

    Edit | Reply
    That truck and the story to go with it, is genuinely you! Your portrayal of the memories to go with the near museum piece of a vehicle..If it could tell a story, it would probably be just how you have penned it...Superb write, dear Rend! All the best in the contest! Mom

    • Thank you Mom
      you are so sweet, your comments are so up lifting
      love you,

      Blessings & Love

      Rend


  • Swangrnv gold member
    June 10

    Edit | Reply

    mmmmm..

    yeah, this was so so yummy!! l.o.l. or maybe it the visual of water pouring over young breasts? or maybe the truck? l.o.l. whichever it was seriously and pleasantly nice to read it! l.o.l. great stuff sweetheart...

    • <

      Swan,

      thank you, i was going to through in pert nipples when the water hit,
      but i think i would have pushed it too far,
      Blessings

      Rend


  • Cup-a-Joe
    June 10

    Edit | Reply

    Rend,

    I just got an image from "Cool Hand Luke" running thry my mind.
    Bou it's a good image.
    Thanks for this.

    Joe

    • <

      Dang Cool Hand Luke AKA Paul Newman Played such a good charactor,
      didnt he look sweaty during the whole movie. I think it was filmed in Alabama
      or somewhere down south, none the less good movie,
      can relate it to the poem lol and thank you so much
      Blessings

      Rend

  • Oh honey i loved this..i loved this one alot.


    great job and best wishes..although i think you nailed this one

    love ya

    Passions


  • white stone
    June 10

    Edit | Reply
    Outstanding take on the prompt. To this day "coolie", as I call him, loves beautiful women. I saw a woman ask if she could pray with him once, and he said "Yes ma'am", but rest assured he had one eye open peering right down her shirt. That's no lie, I watched him. He's harmless, though...
    This actually reminds me of stories he tells about harvesting Maize when he was a teenager in Parasol, Tx.
    Thanks so much.

    • <

      Now the man of the hour,
      Mr Coolie reminded of me someone i used to know, so patriotic
      and had a deep love for his country and women, all of them! he he
      and he beats to his own drum cant change a man like that, but would
      give you his last dollar. Mr Collie is a Rare Breed i am blessed to know
      him through you,

      Blessings
      Rend


  • Reptile Lady gold member
    June 10

    Edit | Reply
    Awesome
    With that image I thought comedy.. what did we get
    sensual
    and what a wonderful poetic story unfolded
    Loads of imagery painted my mind
    You have created brilliance
    Well done and best wishes always
    Julie x


  • Daizee silver member
    June 9

    Edit | Reply
    I almost felt like I was watching something I shouldn't be there for a while

    • <

      Thank you so much for your comment
      your are always a most welcome gift!

      Blessings
      Rend


  • Maxboy gold member
    June 9

    Edit | Reply
    Very nice write sweetie, such great imagery and I would keep that old pickup truck too.

    Wonderful Girl....Best wishes in the contest

    • <

      Don,
      thank you for coming by and reading,
      yes it does seem that we keep objects
      for memories don't we ,

      Blessings

      Rend


  • thepoetssoul
    June 10

    Edit | Reply
    What an exellent piece of poetry, so very creative.
    Makes me want to go eat some plums ripe of the tree
    Well done, best you in all you do.

    Tony

    • Tony,
      yeah happy to have you my friend,
      and those plums can get nice and juicy
      blessings

      Rend


  • doolie gold member
    June 10

    Edit | Reply
    Aw, this is great sis. Very romantic and sensual. I would have to keep that old truck, too.

    Wonderful...Best of luck in the contest sweetie.


  • DeJaBlue
    June 10

    Edit | Reply
    Very sensual and sweet.  This would be an awesome memory for any ol' gent, even if it's completely imagined, Great job!

    • Yes i woiuld hope he would appreciate the fine fruit i have presented to him
      lovely man,
      and thank you so much for stopping by and commenting

      Blessings

      Rend

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