I am the movement that still the beast
I am the reflection in the eyes of men
I am the reality which God makes
In all eyes I see their killers
Movements unquestioned
Ruled by the darkness of the their desires
Lacking the illumination of knowledge
I am the fire that burns against the cold
I am the bar that holds back the flood
I am the light that reveals desire
All men move through blackness
Bound by the iron ignorance of their beliefs
They see only the past that is defined,
But they are slaves to the past that determines
And knowing this has driven me mad.
Beasts move as fire burns
Men reflect upon the bars that hold
God makes real the light which reveals
All men are killers in the dark through which they move
Their movements unquestioned, due to the ignorance of conviction
Ruled by desire, they see only the past that is defined
Lacking this illumination, they are slaves to the past that determines
And knowing this had driven me mad
Author notes
It doesn't rhyme, but I am unconcerned. The form is what I am proud of. What do you think?
What?
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Poetry doesn't have to rhyme. It has a very nice flow to it. Love the imagery. Very deep and haunting message. Great write!
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Rhyme is not everything. All poems do not have to rhyme. I like the flow here and the images are great. Now line 1 change "still" to "stills". Line 23 dropthe "And" end your poem "Knowing this ....." If you want the "and" put it at the emd of line 22 with a few spaces away from "determines" Like so "determines" "and"
Good luck in your writing. The ideas are your to take or leave. -
really emotional.... i loved it. its a very good, very powerful write. and i like the flow =]
God bless =]
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In the dark
Where little creatures roam and gather at their improvised homes, they watch from corners the giants which bring such violence. Huge monsters which rip and tear the evidence is clear. They are the "men" who are near.
We are unable to tear the tatters of hunting away from the that which matters... the living. You've brought that which pains all men and women, the inevitable conclusion when confronted by enough confusion, the base of the animal which exists in us all.
It requires only the right pressure, that individually identified in us, pressed into flesh, mind or heart and we revert .... to our past. That place where teeth tore and flesh rendered into fat and we ate with bloody hands that ..which we wrot from the once living.
We are the primal of all beasts, that which under the layers of civilization hides and bides its time to appear. A time not of our choosing, but rather a time of stress, lack of sleep, pressures deep...and reason lost in swirling quagmires of pain.
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I'm going to say that other than it's poetic brilliance
'feminism = much'
I'm a firm believer than anything as a whole the bad are going to overrule the good. That goes for woman too. conniving and subtle malicious snakes. But as individuals there are just as many good aspects as bad...
However, I feel I have defended myself, back to the poem. I loved how you kept up the intensity and your absolutely flawless choice of words. Yes you do sound very much like a philosopher. However that is poetic in itself. I would highly recommend this poem to anyone. (as long as they weren't easily offend able)
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First of all, you sound like a great philosopher, though it is better you admitted you might be insane. I like that to you, you are right, though I see in this poem you might be moving through your own darkness as well. It is right to a point, but, unfortunately, does not disclude you from being of our species as well. Stay crazy though, it is the normal people you can feel sorry for.
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