Dressed in rags and hand me downs
No finery of her own
The lovely Cinderella
Was bullied, tired and forlorn
Her stepmother was so wicked
Her stepsisters just as bad
They sapped poor Cinders of her joy
What little joy she had
They lounged and lazed while Cinders worked
It was she who washed their clothes
Ran their bath and cooked for them
She had even wiped their nose
One day her wicked stepmother
Told poor Cinders..your Dad is dead
Dont think that you can stop your chores
Put that nonsense out your head
Her heart sunk low deep in despair
She cried out with all her might
Why am I being punished
Dont I always do things right
Her Dad had been her only hope
Even though he worked away
He never knew the sorrow
Cinderella faced each day
Her stepmother was an ugly bitch
Her soul as black as sin
Her face was long and very pale
Her body long and thin
Her stepsisters were the opposite
They were mean and pink and fat
They kept a pet fed on the best
A fluffy blob of a cat
Their hands knew nothing of kitchenwork
Housework was not their thing
Why should they do that kind of stuff
They would just give Cinders a ring
Fetch us cakes and strawberry tarts
Put two lumps in our tea
My sister says 'get a move on'
Or you'll get a slap from me
Poor Cinders sat in the gloom that night
She opened her heart and cried
Not so much as a kind word
Since the day her Dad had died
She was treated so unfairly
Yet she seldom ever complained
The animals that she knew as friends
Kept her loving soul sustained
One day the stepsisters squealed with glee
The Prince of their land was in town
They had both been invited to a ball
They would both be needing a gown
Cinderella asked if she could go
Her stepmother shook her head
A ball is not for the likes of you
You need to earn your bread
Poor Cinders was brokenhearted
She lay sobbing on her cellar bed
When all at once a bright light appeared
A soothing voice she heard
I am your Fairy Godmother
Ive come to change your life
It has come to my attention
That the Prince is seeking a wife
No time to waste the Fairy said
Lets make you a nice new dress
With taffeta lace and softest silk
The Prince Im sure you'll impress
What of my shoes poor Cinders said
I have none of my own alas
Have no fear for I am here
Try these..they're made of glass
Now heres your palace invite
It admits you to the ball
Now all you need is a carriage and four
To take you to the hall
Remember to leave before Midnight
For the magic will wear away
If you dont get out of there
It just might ruin your day
The Fairy waved her magic wand
Your coach and four awaits
Cinders climbed into the cab
It thundered out of the gates
At the ball the Prince stood waiting
He scanned the ladies there
How shall I find my Princess
Among these ladies here
As Cinderella entered the room
His Highness took her hand
He thought to himself..Ive found her
The fairest in the land
They danced all night without a care
Until midnight began to chime
Cinderella stared in horror
She had to leave on time
In a panic she then rushed outside
Racing down the palace stair
A slipper of glass fell off her foot
She had to leave it there
The coach and four had vanished
She found herself in rags
She'd have to hurry home barefoot
Get home before the hags
The Prince meanwhile was left bereft
Noone could ease his mind
He had the slipper from the stair
The one his Princess left behind
He summoned his advisers
Organised a national search
He must find his Princess
She can't be out of reach
Finally the Prince's servant
Arrived at Cinderellas home
He carried the slipper made of glass
Every maiden must try it on
Both sisters tried so desperately
But the slipper would not fit
Surely she must be somewhere near
Why wont she come and try it
Cinders lay on her bed and sobbed
I must try it now myself
I dont want to be forgotten
Ill be left here on the shelf
As the Prince's servant turned to leave
She gave a little shout
Sir..let me try that slipper
The sisters laughed out loud
Her foot slid in so perfectly
She was the one...there was no doubt
The Prince delighted...brought her home
Now he had something to shout about
A royal announcement soon was made
A most popular decree
Cinderella would wed her handsome Prince
So happy they would be
Author notes
The story of Cinderella in Rhyme form...
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Epic fairytale saga
I've always loved the concept of the Cinderella story for the victory of one mistreated and misunderstood. It's a rallying cry for all those who feel alone and forgotten and forsaken of hope to continue on, no matter how grim. Your rhythmic retelling of this story reads like an epic. You were painstaking in keeping the rhythm and rhyme of the poem flowing smoothly while expressing variable emotions with poignant forethought. I imagine your grandchildren may enjoy hearing this version as a bedtime story. Cinderella reigns again, this time as a poem!
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Thank you
Once again your comment leaves me feeling extremely good about myself!...You are obviously a woman of no little intelligence and I regard your remarks with respect and admire the thoughtfulness expressed in them...My grand daughter Chloe Emma is too young to appreciate my writes at the moment as she is only 10 months old..but I hope she reads all of my childrens poems one day and finds pleasure in them...thank you again for a much valued comment..regards and best wishes...Dan xx
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Wow, excellent work. The rhyme was never once off and it all flowed together quite nicely. You used great imagery in describing the step-mother:
"Her stepmother was an ugly bitch
Her soul as black as sin
Her face was long and very pale
Her body long and thin"
They don't describe her in the regular fairy tale and it gave a good mental picture of what a wicked woman she was.
Also, in the following stanza:
"Fetch us cakes and strawberry tarts
Put two lumps in our tea
My sister says 'get a move on'
Or you'll get a slap from me"
If I could make a suggestion, maybe it would be to substitute "My sister" to "Her sister", just so that it stays written in one point of view. However, it works just as well the way it was written!
In my opinion this was very good, I almost liked it better than the actual tale
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Thank you
Thank you for your excellent comment on my write...re your suggestion..."Fetch us cakes and strawberry tarts
Put two lumps in our tea
My sister says 'get a move on'
Or you'll get a slap from me
This is a statement being made by one ugly stepsister about the other toward Cinderella...so I think it is in the correct point of view!...regards and thanks for your review...Dan
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Dad,
I love this one!!!! You did an amazing job on this one!!! I have never seen it done this way, but you know, I think I prefer your version to the others that I have seen and read, even to the old classic fairytale!! Kudos dad!!
and love
Nyetta
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Thanks Nyetta
Thanks for your valued comment Nyetta...my young sister asked me to write about Cinderella in a poem...I hope she will be happy with this as she plans to read it on stage at the theatre she performs at in Glasgow...its for a Christmas season play...lun n hugs..Dad xx
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Oh my God Dan! This is wonderfully done! I love it!!!! I think this is the longest poem you have ever written and it needed to be long to tell the story and it's so very well done! Bravo!!! This one deserves a cazillion clappies!
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Thanks Honey!
Yes I think it is my longest poem yet?...hopefully my sister will be happy with it...she is the one who asked me to write it after all!...thanks hun...Dan xx
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