If the past croaks beyond
The ambit of reminiscence
And memories become fond
Images that make no sense
We call forth hell on earth
Where sheer havoc wreaks
Invoking the painful birth
Of a monster that speaks
Now is the time to act, for
All that you need to know
Will be the deciding factor
The prove you can't forgo
The practice and intellect
Of your magnificent brain
That is as a matter of fact
The very pith to maintain
The systems you have built
And structures you created
They are not attempts spilt
Since you have anticipated
A future suiting your talent
And your rational conduct
An incentive without end
Ensuring you’ll be fucked
Author notes
http://terrarosso.com/Poem-Past%20present%20and%20future.htm
A contest entry
- Past Present and Future by SteveS by SteveS.
2000 points, ended June 21, 7 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
-
Congrats ...
are in order from me for your poem shares some good philosophy and yet seems to let one down, as if caught in a tornado, but I know that all is just of the mind and the sun always shines again, for me!
joy

-
Congratulations, Chris ...
on a very golden Silver! I loved your poem.
-
a good poem, aye, i concur, we are all fecked. doomed i tell you, we are all going to die, but not today. i hope.
thanks for your visits to my work earlier.

-
Sometimes, quite often, I think it doesn't matter what is learned, people in those positions of power will do as they want - follow their own agenda, a kind of full speed ahead and damn the torpedos attitude. Your poem just brought this to the forefront of my mind.


-


-
Thank you so much for entering. I will offer some incite from my perspective on this write. This group of lines.."The systems you have build
And structures you created
They are no efforts spilled" I would rather you had coupled "built" to "spilt" whereas "built" would better follow "have" and "spilt" is an acceptable alternative in this usage. I felt a poetic bump here.."All that you need to know
Will be the deciding factor" where such a broad unidentified unknown is a deciding factor. The ending is compelling, as I am sure was your intent...because the middle of the poem through seven lines of the final group seem to me hopeful/inspirational... then you whack us with a frying pan with that final line. Feel free to IM me about that "poetic bump" that I perceived. Your input may assist me.
-
-
Lol...just realized I typed "incite" instead of "insight" I hope the latter is more applicable.
-
-
Powerful ending
certainly an eye opener
we need to teach from birth, the power of thoughts and the effects it has on not only ourselves but on all,
the universal mind is one, what effect one member effects all.
we so abuse our brain, when we look at the world we can plainly see what we call sane is indeed insane,
time and energy, so called intellect seems to be drawn to destruction.
we can not run around putting band aids on humanity and the earth, but we could use our God given ability to create peace and unity.
that would be more then enough.
powerful write
sincere and full of heart
God bless you my friend...


-
??? after reading this again, It came to me that galaxies are born and die during the circuit of certain embraces and that certain unions are like Bach melodies that moves with all its lines in long, sinuous counterpoint, each winding in and out of the others, each line, each note, complete in itself, until at the appointed time they all naturally come to an end with one final chord.

I wish you luck in the contest Light.

-
-
... and this comment is a poem waiting to be born! Beautiful thoughts that resonate that heavenly feeling. Nice! joy
-
1 - 10 of 10







