& mouth games
play tic tac toe
with your verbalising natural gifts
you want to be
kissed
spoke to
rested upon
like a child in tender fueled arms
around your name
this is the open sore or rift of love
that aches at the point
of a bullet wound
entry point of origin
- the day you got off the bus
& smiled at me
called my identity
a softer way
than i'd heard for eons
above the roar
of gunshot cars and oblivious people
we touched
entrapment; some might say
some will call it, this
what it is
- love
Author notes
nah!!!
A contest entry
- love gun by woooo hoooo cuckoo.
700 points, ended June 14, 7 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
-
such originality in describing love and the verbage is intriguing to say the lest. this is very captivating and invigorating. you are a great writer and reading you makes me feel great. well done.


-
I've actually removed my previous comment, apologies if you felt at all it was too brief. We've discussed my commenting, I know, so I will assume that is all that really matters.
Meant for this to have silver..
allpoetry tends to trip me up when I go to judge a contest
is good, though, and nice use of the shotgun without being cliched, gill. -
oh!!!
I'd comment on this but i busy
U see my name is Suzi and I'm queen of the zulu
they're all over 21"
they captured mary carp and they're doing things to her
too bad (for her) it is only fantasy
taa
keep penning -
-
how do you know when you have passed an elephant? you cant even get the frikkin seat down! hee hee
-
-
he he must be the ivory
-
-
-
one gets to see as if through another's eyes, a view of a day filled with expectation and the sensations of a touch, that has a meaning...the reader can feel the buzzing world...just fade away...lovely...PK


-
called my identity
a softer way
than i'd heard for eons

Yeppers...you 'plain love in a unique way.


-
"& smiled at me
called my identity
a softer way
than i'd heard for eons"
aaah yes, love is love, gilly
most beauty-full this is...sighs!

~ Nicolette


-


-
"called my identity
a softer way
than i'd heard for eons"
oh hon, that said it all for me.
layered and beautiful.


-
oh just smiling here, i seem to do that a lot missy with your stuff lately
C


-
I like your invariably original definitions of love immensely, my Friend. You sure kick it up a notch or three, beyond the lame & mysterious ponderings of many writers within our sphere of aching.
Good one, Sweetie. Best of luck in the contest.




1 - 12 of 12










