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It's Tuesday night so i must have shot myself in the foot

& mouth games
play tic tac toe
with your verbalising natural gifts

you want to be
kissed
spoke to
rested upon
like a child in tender fueled arms

around your name
this is the open sore or rift of love
that aches at the point
of a bullet wound

entry point of origin
- the day you got off the bus
& smiled at me
called my identity

a softer way
than i'd heard for eons
above the roar
of gunshot cars and oblivious people

we touched
entrapment; some might say

some will call it, this
what it is

- love

Author notes

nah!!!

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • queenie
    July 3

    Edit | Reply
    such originality in describing love and the verbage is intriguing to say the lest. this is very captivating and invigorating. you are a great writer and reading you makes me feel great. well done.

  • pocket pixie gold member
    June 16
    Edit | Reply
    I've actually removed my previous comment, apologies if you felt at all it was too brief. We've discussed my commenting, I know, so I will assume that is all that really matters.

    Meant for this to have silver..
    allpoetry tends to trip me up when I go to judge a contest
    is good, though, and nice use of the shotgun without being cliched, gill.


  • IronIcecream
    June 15

    Edit | Reply

    oh!!!

    I'd comment on this but i busy
    U see my name is Suzi and I'm queen of the zulu
    they're all over 21"
    they captured mary carp and they're doing things to her
    too bad (for her) it is only fantasy

    taa

    keep penning


  • Peteskid gold member
    June 13

    Edit | Reply
    one gets to see as if through another's eyes, a view of a day filled with expectation and the sensations of a touch, that has a meaning...the reader can feel the buzzing world...just fade away...lovely...PK


  • zochit2me gold member
    June 13

    Edit | Reply
    called my identity

    a softer way
    than i'd heard for eons



    Yeppers...you 'plain love in a unique way.


  • Nicolette gold member
    June 10

    Edit | Reply
    "& smiled at me
    called my identity

    a softer way
    than i'd heard for eons"

    aaah yes, love is love, gilly

    most beauty-full this is...sighs!



    ~ Nicolette

  • Rowan gold member
    June 9

    Edit | Reply
    "called my identity

    a softer way
    than i'd heard for eons"

    oh hon, that said it all for me.
    layered and beautiful.

  • oh just smiling here, i seem to do that a lot missy with your stuff lately C


  • Night Hope gold member
    June 9

    Edit | Reply

    I like your invariably original definitions of love immensely, my Friend. You sure kick it up a notch or three, beyond the lame & mysterious ponderings of many writers within our sphere of aching. Good one, Sweetie. Best of luck in the contest.




1 - 12 of 12