Today and Tomorrow
Today I married my true love, the one I have waited for all my life.
Prayers and dreams do come true, fairy tales really do exist.
Together we will share a true love story, this one without the end.
On this day we promised forever, now forever shall begin.
There is nothing that could take away, the love we have for each other.
Everything we need and want, we have now and forever.
The Lord has blessed us with his love, a love only we could share.
Without God’s love we wouldn’t be here, with proof God is the light and way.
This man that I have given my heart, is a great man of his faith.
Always leading by example and never letting his love for the Lord fade.
A proud father, caring son, a one of a kind brother, and now forever my husband.
The love that he has for his family and friends is and will always be never ending.
The kind of man that women don’t believe could exist, honest, faithful and never frowns
He provides me with his heart, always makes me smile, and never lets me down.
More than anything I could have ever asked for, he loves me the way I am.
Never doubting who he is, the same since the day I met him, for me the perfect man.
Loving him as he loves me, putting each other before ourselves the way it should be.
Giving our children the greatest example of what true love really means.
Tomorrow more in love, and grateful for this day.
Always and forever is how we both shall stay.
Robert N Rachael
June 27th 2009
Author notes
NEED CRITICAL REVIEWS PLEASE!!!! WILL BE HANDING THIS OUT AT MY WEDDING, CRITICAL REVIEW PLEASE!!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!
Does it flow and rhyme is it easy to read but not to easy?
Comments
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Lovely poetry! So beautiful!
You wrote such a beautiful and romantic poem here! If your love for each other is as strong and full of faithfullness as this poem conveys, you have such a great chance of being with each other happily for a lifetime! God bless you both and my wishes for you both to always be in love with each other!
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very nice piece keep the coming. it is nice to read you.
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For your wedding, this is fine. Congratulations, and I wish you every happiness!
If you wanted to publish this, I would suggest some changes--mainly that you figure out what is unique about the love you have for your fiance, and write more about that. What you have written so far is very general. For instance:
In what specific ways does he lead by example? In what ways is he a caring son and an awesome brother? How does he always make you smile?
Look for what's unique to your love, and that will make this a fantastic poem.
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Aww
First of all, congrats
This is a sweet and romantic piece. Its beautiful language fits the wedding day atmosphere perfectly.
Hmm...critical comments...well if I have to be picky, I would say the flow goes a little too choppy near the end. But that would be it
"Prayers and dreams do come true, fairy tales really do exist.
Together we will share a true love story, this one without the end.
On this day we promised forever, now forever shall begin."
Love that part
Keep writing
thanks for sharing, and best wishes
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Beautiful , True love/ beloved life partner is a true blessing from god. cherish it n be very thankful to god.
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this is unbelieveably romantic. i would not change a single thing it is wonderful. everyone in the whole room will swoon
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I see no spelling errors. If worried run it thru spell check several times. I see no reason for a revision. May you be happy on that special day and always, >> Papagallo
PS Check line 14 and change as to and. -
This piece might flow better if you kept all the lines to a similar length - I think that would be more aesthetically pleasing and would read more easily. When there's a great variance in line lengths the overall poem seems to be less refined.
In some instances I think commas would help, for example the first line - "my true love, the one I have waited for..." flows better.
The third last stanza has an extra space in it by accident ("the same since the day").
Good luck perfecting this poem! -
Hi! Hope this rewrite into syllabic meter helps smooth out the bumps.
Today I married my true love,
I've waited for him all my life.
My prayers and dreams have now come true
old fairy tales I know exist.
Together we will share true love,
A story that will never end.
Today we promised love forever
Now forever shall begin.
There's nothing that could take away
The love we have for one another.
Everything we need and want,
we've captured now forever.
The Lord has blessed us with His love
A love that only we could share.
But God's love is what keeps us here,
As proof that God still lights the way.
This man I love is great because
He is a great man in his faith.
He's always leading by example
Of a love for God that will not fade.
Proud father, caring son and loving brother
One for friends and family never ending.
A man most women don't believe exists
Is honest, faithful without frown;
He never lets his lifetime lover down
And works so hard to make me happy
Then provide material needs
Along with access to his heart.
More than anything I need
He loves the person that I am
And never doubting who he is
This man, my God, this perfect man,
While loving him as he loves me
Will help our children learn to love.
And we shall pray to stay this way
By grace of mighty God above;
Our story in abundance should bare fruit
To those who wait for loving mates to come.
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Poet is truly in love with love. Long may her dream last. Hope lifes turns and roundabouts are always in the right place and time
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I don't want to mess with too much because of what it is. A couple of places could use smoothing out. Line 8, remove ", with the" and replace with a period. Leave the rest. Line 14, "as provides me with his heart." Did you mean and, not as? My choice would be to cut the last line - sounds too much like boasting.
This is obviously you and your words are heart-felt. That is all that is needed. Congradulations and Good Luck!!!
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Err - congratulation! Well intended, just misspelled.
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