inside me

There is a love inside me
That strangles me like the night
Reaching out from the darkest depths of the earth
The universe
From the corners and shadows of the unknown
Smoldering the life in me
The tiniest ounce of breath I posess
The slightest glimmer of sanity
And this love that hides within me
Pulls at me
The fragile thread
That holds me together
That pumps this sludge (of blood) through wilted veins
Apathetic eyes
And ears
And any part of me that can be touched
Or can touch
Or even feel or speak the word
FEEL.

Forgive me,
Love has not been kind to me.
Although I want to push it away
I hold it in
As if there were something
Anything
to hold onto
As if there were anything
Other than pain
The pain that was conceived by this love
Born by such beauty, such life…
Such a bastardly love
Of which I’ve grown to resent
Yet need

To feel sick from and be sick of
To feel faint from yet faint without
Where do I go from here?


You will always be a part of  me
One that no one else can see
Or know how you haunt me so…

(Inside me)
My prisioner…