I look up
And see the enterance
The only way out of this hole
I have dug
Far, far above are clouds
My eyes blink away the water
It falls on my face
Running rivlets throught the mud in my hair
I wipe away the rain
And try to find a place for my hands
To grasp
To pull me out
I heave myself up a flew feet
My bare feet find hles to stand in
Slowly, I rise
Ascending the slick walls
I brace myself against the sides
The climb may be long
And I may be weary
At times, I slip down again
But one day, I'll reach the top
Only to find
The Earth is filled whith thousands of holes
Each hiding someone else.
What did you think
Comments
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amazing...
truly insitghful
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I like your poem, no critiques because I don't know anything at all about poetry, but I like your poem
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I liked this; it shows the point of the poem amazingly.
There are a few critiques I have-- you don't need to take these if you don't want to
Spelling errors:
enterence ==> entrance
"feet find hles " ==> holes?
That's all of the spelling errors I can find.
My only other two critiques are using punctuation. the use of commas and periods at the end of a sentence or thought will allow the meaning to seep inside the reader's mind better and easier.
Also breaking up the poem into a few other stanzas will help. For example:
"I heave myself up a flew feet
My bare feet find hles to stand in
Slowly, I rise
Ascending the slick walls
I brace myself against the sides"
Could be:
"I heave myself up a flew feet
My bare feet find hles to stand in
Slowly, I rise
Ascending the slick walls
I brace myself against the sides"
Other than those critiques, you wrote a well written poem.
Good job!
-anneliese
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