Today I wake up and an empty bed I find,
Torturing myself with each dream that convinced me otherwise,
The sheets bear mute witness to my tossing and turning,
The smell you left in my head drives forth my restless churning,
I wonder how it might be to keep here with the lies,
Telling myself that you can’t leave without saying goodbye.
Saturday mornings leave me lonely with a promise on each shoelace,
Thinkin’ fondly of the last time that I held my hand on your face,
It’s not far of a run each day before I find the shore,
Looking out over the crests feels more inviting than before,
Wash away all the pains as I stare into the sky,
Longing softy for my time to drift away,
I’m deluded, selfish, jaded, amongst a shelf of other faults,
And worst of them, without this love, I barely sleep at all.
To think I could hold you here, away from all the world,
And keep you all for myself inside these plaster walls,
It just goes to prove that no greed goes without its cost,
The letters and the songs you wrote teach me what I’ve lost,
I sit here dreaming, out of sleep, to hold tight you once more,
The tears are sweet and burning,
When I know it can’t be like before…
Saturday mornings leave me lonely with a promise on each shoelace,
Thinkin’ fondly of the last time that I had my hand on your face,
It’s not far of a run each day before I find the shore,
Looking out over the crests feels more inviting than before,
Wash away all the pains as I stare into the sky,
Longing softy for my time to drift away,
The churning waves and foam remind me who I am,
Despite all my fighting, I’m still just a man,
No matter what I try to do I cannot fight it down,
I can’t hide it anymore, I miss you…
Saturday mornings leave me lonely with a promise on each shoelace,
Thinkin’ fondly of the last time I had my hand on your face,
It’s not far of a run each day before I find the shore,
Looking out over the crests feels more inviting than before,
Wash away all the pains as I stare into the sky,
Longing softy for my time to drift away,
Someday I’ll float along back home to you,
Please say you miss me, too.
Author notes
the music to which inspired me was 'Rylynn' and 'Into The Ocean' by Andy Mckee...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JsD6uEZsIsU
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cvar4ZsqsEo
PLEASE COMMENT ON ANY ADVICE TO CORRECT IT"S MUSICALITY!!!
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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so so sad. its beautifully written. the only thing I would say to improve its "musicality" is spread out the rhyme a little more, and make it sound a bt more like lyrics. thats just my personal idea, take it how you wish. i love the first stanza, its just such a wonderful introduction to the rest of the poem. i could almost smell the sea as i read this... and very aptly named [salt water]. you should definitely turn this into a song! it would make a great serenade. well written.
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I like it you could change a few things to asist the flow bt thats my the rap coming thru
slow itd sound really good i imagined a voice like
Tom Higgenson or maybe Ronnie Radke -
Aaww.
Its so sweet. I love it, I do I do I do.
I adore this. Nothing really to correct. It'd be a really long song because the lines are so long but thats okay, its still a good song. :]
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Holy Shit.
I was..putting this to a tune by Hollywood Undead believe it or not.
It's very..well kind of their style in a way.
I could def see them singing it.
I love it Klehl. -
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i find it funny that you and Rin are the ONLY people outside of bloodfamily that call me that
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I love your name.
And you like it.
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it'll be okay Theomatitist!
omg..you make me cry!
i love this!! i love you!
keep strong!!!
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The lyrics are captivating. they made a very vivid description and capture one's heart from the first paragraph. You can feel the longing. As for song relevance, it fits. It would be a more accurate depication if I knew what music you did it too. Or the way the melody went. But the lyrics themselves are striking.
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Awww
this is soo sweet!! amazing to say the least i love ur imagery, ur rhymes, and the general flow of the song
fantastic job. i hope she likes it.. i know i did
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thank you thank you...
the music that inspired it is also worth the hearing...
the links to youtube are in the author notes
i just wish i played an instrument
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Don' change a think all you must do is decide what type of musice and make the notes ^ 5
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