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~~~ Killing time is murder. ~~~
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~~~ Sometimes too short it is! ~~~
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~~ Coffee in hand mitten slippers, ~~
~ too and fro oh-the-ebb-and-flow. ~
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~ Gentle ride on Daddy's feet ~
~~~~~ waltzing away! ~~~~~
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~~~~ A struggle, ~~~~
~~~ though entire. ~~~
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~ Nothing else to do. ~
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~ Way better time ~
~ is killing time. ~
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~~~ Though, ~~~
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friend cancer,
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~ is murder ~
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Author notes
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[RAINbow]
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~ e v e r y o n e 1 ~
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Written for my Father and all those who suffer like he did, for those suffering with them.
Was remembering Him today like most every day. How much I love miss him how good he was to me though suffering. As he always did try his best to love ... move to cherish life, respect everybody!
Sometimes too short it is time!
To suffer with him through it better time it was killing time ... suffering together!
Though cancer still it is murder... .
~ Love: ~ James ~
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A contest entry
- Tell me the meaning or story behind your best poems. by Tqop.
700 points, ended October 5, 16 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Night Terrors by Night Terrors.
400 points, ends December 15, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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this was really contest was for horror but your poem was pretty good thanks for entering. The title was really very catching and I must agree with you the longer you look at the clock the slower it clicks away. Aticaptaion just hightens it as well. Your poem though short really was creative and entertaining despite how short it is.
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first of all, i am sorry for your loss. it must be a struggle, but i'm glad you can express those emotions through poetry.
i enjoyed the theme of this poem. killing time is like murder, isn't it? taking life for granted is never good, and i think you make that quite clear in your poem.
good job and good luck!
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I know all too much about family members who have had cancer. It is tough when "cancer" takes them away from us. Just as you have told it through "time" as being short, I can also agree to that. It's like the time I have been away from AP due to work responsibilities. Congrats on earning some hardware already. I want to thank you for your entry into the following contest: "To Be Put On My Favorites List."
Ted E
PS: Your entry has been blessed by the three wise clappers, but don't spend the whole nine points in one place(lol)!
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this is so very moving, and I related very much. I have lost several family members and a friend to cancer.
karen
I am glad that you have such wonderful memories of your father. he sounds so wonderful. this was a beautiful, yet very sad, memoir of him and your relationship.... blessings
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Your emotions come through clearly in this piece. The form is unusual but signifies the passing of time quite clearly as well.
I'm sorry for your loss. You didn't mention how ;ong since your father's passing but you still seem to be greiving and rightly so.
Good luck in the contest
Dee
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That is why I look forward to day "When no resident will say I am sick!" Isaiah 33:24.
Well done. [Sorry for your lost].
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I can feel your emotions on this piece and the style and format was very creative. Thanks for entering
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wow you entered a lot of contets, I'm not certain if i like the punctuation once again but none the less i do like the length of this write and it was very good too!
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You did well on this piece.. It takes me back to the painfull years where I lost my mother to cancer, and yet 3 years later I lost my brother.. both to cancer.. It is a hard thing to deal with... i mean watching them go through all the pain.. I wish this pain on no one.. thanks for writing this, and allowing fellow Apers to read your words.. I hope enough time has passed for you though.. and that you have healed somewhat from this tragic event.. I mean one never totall heals but in time one can cope with it.. VERY WELL WRITTEN POEM!!! VERY HEARTFELT!!!
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thanks for the amazing entry. i really like the title youve used, but i'm not so keen on the length, i think it might be a little short. likewise, i think the overuse of punctuaion at the beginning and in the poem as well is distracting. let the poem stand alone.
thanks again and good luck. -
I honestly love this.
I lost my grandfather to cancer, the line "gentle ride on daddy's feet" really got to me.
Because my favorite picture of me and my granddad was when I was 3 and we were dancing.
Beautiful piece. -
Very beautiful.
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yor words so deeply felt. cancer is a muderer, yes, it takes too many loved ones. beautiful, heartfelt write.
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I love the imagery in this and the write is good as well. The lay out is quite unique and add character to the poem. Thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest.
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Interesting layout! =]
Beautiful writing. ^_^ -
Wow. Amazing write!
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I like the physical form of this poetry- a wonderful example of a concrete poetry
For a short piece, it speaks the persona's thoughts dearly and it pretty much provokes thoughts to the reader, well, to me, anyway.
The consistency, though pulls back the theme you were aiming for; this really has potential for this write to be in-depth and all that.
Aside from that, this is quite a lovely piece
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Interesting layout of your poem, and sorry to hear about your dad. Good luck on all of your other contests
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I need you to follow the rules and update your notes or I can't consider you.
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Um
It's quite clear that you didnt read the prompt before entering this piece. Unless you were prepared to state that you were angry at your father. Then I'm afraid I shall have to remove you from this contest. Good luck with the rest that you have entered. -
I love this poem a very beauriful writing. But not really what I was looking for.
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This was such a beautiful piece. This was wonderfully written, with heartfelt emotions in this piece. I loved it! WOW! keep up the good work! thanks for entering and good luck in my contest!
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thank you
Thank you for submitting this piece into my contest,I noticed you have placed several pieces of your work into this contest.I have read many now and find them all wonderful,whilst all individual.Thank you for showing such a high interest in my contest. -
firstly, I like the small lines of the > ~ they seem to make an hourglass, whihc is lovely, but the big long lines obscure the page and in the short 2 lines, they obsure the pages of the contests, which isn't as nice to look at, though I like them in between the lines, it gives them a lovely shape.
Anyway, content-wise, I like how the hurt can be on both sides, the side of time being wasted and the time we lose...it made me think. Style wise, I enjoy how it is in the kind of literary style as a classic poet, it even reminded me of Robert Burns.
The little snippets and images are lovely, and fit the poem very well.
Thank you very much, and well done on this write. -
Hey, I will comment properly later, but do you think you can put your username in the author comments? I like to check out more of your stufffs.
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I am very sorry for your loss.
I wish you the best of luck into the contest
Thanks for entering
-Damien -
all the ~ ~~~ kind of confuse me.
thanks for entering,
good luck -
this is a very nice write.
I dont like the "~" I find them very distracting.
thanks for entering
goodluck -
Is it only me who is missing the fantastical element in this poem. It is odd though the your explanation in your author's notes makes the poem a lot mroe clearer. I am sorry for your loss.
Good luck in my contest.
Nooni
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a great write, i dont really get the point of all the squiggly lines but doesnt really matter! lovely poem, thanks for entering
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