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Tie it in a knot!

I was fine when i met you
now I've OCD
it began when I moved in
and on the toilet seat you peed.

Late at night when I'm half asleep
I go in with both eyes shut
then lower the Freaking toilet seat
and my hands are full of smut.

My feet are damp with droplets
from your wee leaky willy
and I have to wash myself again
or else I'll be all smelly.

You carry on regardless
and pee  to your delight
but I had to put an end to it
when you came to have a shite.

Ugh! you're always so disgusting
so I treated the paper well
itchy powder on the roll
you'r arse burned up and swelled.

This gave me the greatest pleasure
now I am left with OCD
before I go for a pee
my gloves  I will retrieve.

I lift the lid and wipe
just a hundred times
then cover it with loo roll
to ensure there is no grime.

I then take a shower
with bleach and wire brush
and all because your filthy
and forget to bloody flush.

So do me a favour
and tie it in a knot
and save it for your mums
pristine toilet pot.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7
  • poets whisper gold member
    June 14

    Edit | Reply
    I don't know what to say. I just had a comment from a visitor ... complaining because the lid was left up in our guest bathroom. Very embarrassing ... although I didn't leave it up so don't know why I should be embarrassed! Still ...


  • Cynthia Gaines gold member
    June 12

    Edit | Reply

    WOW!!

    You do tell it like it is, and you always have, Poetess!! I have never seen a poem more descriptive with loo (bathroom) adjectives as this one!! Just remember to use skin-softning lotion so your skin doesn't fall off the bones from all the OCD's habitual washing!! Good luck in the contest, and take care!!
    Peace, love & hugs, xx Cyn xx


  • fortyninereasons gold member
    June 8
    Edit | Reply
    oh my...
    Juls


  • Cannonsfire gold member
    June 8

    Edit | Reply
    omg woman!!! I hope this is not based on true events


  • YoursTrulyJulie gold member
    June 8

    Edit | Reply
    A very funny write and excellent for this fun contest
    Best of luck


  • Pure Thought silver member
    June 8

    Edit | Reply
    HA, Ha, ha... this is a riot, though a sad commentary on those guys who just can't seem to control themselves. Yuck.

1 - 7 of 7