I fell HARD
I fell FAST
I tripped again
When I looked back
It hit me
You were the one pushing me
Just like that
I got up and walked away
But I keep thinking
Did I walk away for my sake?
Or was it I realized I cant be pushed
And he deserves someone
Who will walk at his pace
And treat him how he deserves
I let him go
A tear rolls down my cheek as I think
It's over
Everything about him attracts me
But it's for the best
He needs to be happy
Right now he says I caused him pain
But one day I'll see him laughing with a girl
And every inch of me will wish to be her
It dosent matter because his eyes will light up
at her face
her smile
her very being
I'll turn my back and weep
I'll walk away
At my own pace
But find peace knowing
He will be better off
Author notes
I fell too hard, too fast. I just recently broke up with a boyfriend I was unterrly intoxicated with. I really do like him. I'm sick of being a selfish brat, I set him free. I guess it hasnt hit me completely, but I'm sure he'll find someone else. It will hurt me more than any physical pain. I just want him to be happy.
It's hard to explain. I guess it's like I'm on a different wavelength than him. He wont tell me when he's upset or such or cant half more than meaningless conversations with me. He needs someone he can talk to. It's just not me.
I broke up with him by text. (Seems heartless, I know) He is gone for a month on vacay with family. I felt like I would break if I did it by phone. My best friend even offered to type the messages because I was so shoken up. The thing that hurt the most is when he replied, "Ok i guess i am not good enough for you i am sry" I crumbled at that moment. So incorrect. Complete opposite. I'm not good enough for him.
I feel like a zombie. Putting on this fake smile. Thoughts of him kept me holding on to reality. Helping me not fall back in to the deep depths of depression. I feel like I'm going backwards in time. Back two years. When I smiled and laughed but was dieing inside.
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