All these years

I said, “Hello.”
She looked on, empty and cold,
And regarded my hand with indifference.
She struck the chords of silence
With guttural hiccups,
Shielding the drops seeping through the carpet.

She opened the door, and it was filled with strangeness;
She wrought her hands to the infinity,
And made paper cranes from the howls of wolves.
She wove them through the drifting clouds,
And we skipped, and pleaded together.
She said, “Well what is left now?”
And turned back to the chill of an empty room.
I couldn’t breathe;
And my eyes saw through the iron bars of solitude;
And I felt my throat unable to utter sounds,
And I felt my mouth numb, my thoughts heavy,
And they dripped from my dirty conscience,
Settling and tumbling in the corners of the room.

“Can’t you see how much I love you!”
I touched her face, anguish burning through my eyes;
She looked like a monster, crying like a wounded sparrow;
And she made no effort to move,
She stood immobile, drops of regret falling through the air.
“And can’t you see it! All of these years, all of these years!”
“How could you not have seen?”
“I hate you, I hate you so much!” And she uttered these words,
Wringing her hands fruitlessly into knots,
Unhappiness threatening to gnaw away her feeble attempts.

I stepped away, and caught my breath;
There was a storm in her countenance,
But I was furious, and a fire slowly overtook my frame.
“What?” My voice was hoarse with incredulity,
And I felt sick with nausea;
I grimaced, and walked around in circles,
Punching burning fists on the wall,
Tainting my skin with red stains,
And my fury grew.

“I can’t stand it anymore, I just can’t stand it!”
She wailed, clutching herself on the ground,
Moving around the carpet like a useless cockroach,
Torn between impetuous seas of passion and fear.
“You knew there was always something between us!”
“And how could you not have? All the looks, all the smiles,
All these years, piled on top of each other, staked with dust,
All the memories, all of these tears! It’s been all wasted, you
Say?”

I slammed myself against her body. She didn’t resist,
And continued to whimper cowardly on her side.
The tear tracks left glittering marks as the light shone on them,
And her eyes were an impenetrable black.
I pressed my lips on hers, confused, aroused, unsure.
I tasted salt; and then, richness.
I felt the soft, pungent taste of her smell,
And a million times stronger.
I bled with silence, and my heart turned to ashes.
I was transfixed, transported, and she could not shake away.

All these years. All these years.