When she believes in love
it is like faith in sunrise
when skies become new,
in lighter shades of darkness.
Holding an essential luxury of life
she waits, the entire day nearly gone
until the sky brings fullness
and flavors all that we see
cloud, mountains, water
in a brighter shade of flame.
When she believes in love
wispy clouds frame the moon
and stars seem to stand and watch
the reach for happiness
among shadowed eyes
and urgent whispers
when she believes...
In a list
A contest entry
- MOMENTUM by LadyLavender.
725 points, ended June 23, 6 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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Congrats on the silver. Well done.
Garrison -
1 poem- You gave me a great peom that I appreciate from beginning to end. This is a powerful piece and I agree with ten thousand, on her understanding of this piece.
2 characters or three- Though its one character, it seems that everyone of us is a medley of characters that tries to achieve wholeness in one body.
3 emotions- There are several here, subtle plus the ones I felt as i read this.
1 final action... Yeap, when she believes.
now give it life... You did that and well.
Thank you for entering!
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Thank you LL-
yes, i think my second character was there within "reach", close enough to hear the "whispers"...
Thank you for your contest and wonderful comments; thank you for the Honor of the Silver Cup...Pkid
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I haven't checked out the contest, but momentum is what I feel here, yes indeed.
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Mairi...
thanks.... i will get back to your columns... so much good news!..."skid
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It is true belief that out stands the fact . . . for in a hundred years our facts will all be wrong . . . but belief will endure even to the end of time.
In our belief we make things real. Very well done.
Garrison
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Thank you..and Congrats on your Gold Cup...PK
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hmmmm...i came back to this after a few hours just to reread.. something was different this time.
I came away from the last part feeling a certain sadness. "WHEN she believes..." as if to say..."all these wonderful things happen when she believes, but sometimes, she DOESN'T believe." After the beautiful experience I had reading it in a more positive light the first few times through, the thought of NOT believing became all the more sad. Tragic even. If this is what it is like when she believes, what must it be like when she does not believe?
This time, all the beautiful thoughts and images became like a revelation of what she was missing when she did not believe. What a sorrowful feeling this brought.
You capture here, in a most subtle way, the very thing that happens in each of us. All of us have a tendency toward either doubt or faith...but none of us are all or nothing on either count. Every now and then the faithful waver, and the doubters find hope. So, the beauty of that last line (and first) is that it can take the reader to either effect... half full, or half empty...or better, an understanding that there is a choice to be made in the first place.
Anyhow, I'm rambling on, but I really had to stop and think about some things. It's so cool when a poem makes you take hold of something like that! -
this is beautiful just love it
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Thank you Glenn... PK
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This one feels just right. For those of us who believe, I think this is a beautiful reminder to keep reaching, for those who do not, it gives the inspiration to dare. There is an emotional build in these stanzas that really moves me as I read...so much that we are sure that faith will be realized into something tangible. I think it would be difficult to read this and not walk away convinced. Like the sunrise.
I like that final idea you have of reaching in spite of, or even THROUGH the lesser things, for that which has become more beautiful.
A piece of stunning beauty and inspiration, PK.
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Yes, Ten
I agree for those of us who believe...this is the idea, let our thoughts and wishes become part of today and on into the future...PK
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I agree with belle, that line gives a wonderful mood to the poem. When we believe all seems (is) reachable
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Thank you Gaze-
I agree i sense a mood here too, a very positive feeling...h
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this is so beautiful
I love how you started it with the line
'when she believes...'
especially in love
where everything becomes beautiful
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Thank you Estbelle-
I think belief is what gives power to our thoughts...thanks so much...PK
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