Your screams reverberate off microchips,
Total internal reflection in communication wires
I listen until my ears bleed and my eyes
Shot with exhaustion feebly flutter
A constant fight with your enemy, sleep
Then just as every night, I place you
Under my pillow, (not as close to my heart
As I would like I have to say)
And I allow the hundreds of miles to
Sweep between us, so I can escape
Back to my world of, you think, perfection
Abandoning you in a hell of pain and fear
This isn't a romance any longer.
The novelty of new love has long since faded,
And I am not sure which relationship realm
We find outselves in.
The lines are blurred between reality and virtuality
Even I'm slowly becoming blind to them,
While all the while my eyes are opening to your imperfections
You're not Mr Right, or the world's best friend.
You're a fucked up little boy in a man's body
I think I'm running out of patience for you.
Where is the fun and, albeit cold, laughter
The el o el's and el em ay o's
Over the years my smile has faded
Along with your sanity
And now I don't just miss you because you're far away
I miss you now because you're never even in your own brain.
I still love you.. but if this is love
I'm not sure I want it anymore.
Horrible but, I sometimes think it would be easier
Maybe I would be better (though selfish)
If I had shut the door on you the day
I realised this would never, could never be normal.
Love can never be enough
When miles and circumstance intervene.
Author notes
I don't know if this was what you were looking for, but if it isn't then you can DQ of course.
A bit specific to my experiences perhaps.
A contest entry
- Internet Romance by dutch2lips.
900 points, ended June 21, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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certainly love can drain your very life's essence, no doubt about that, yes, i can relate to some of your write, it is easy for the other person to load all the crap of his/her life over your ears (read eyes) and leave you with this cesspool of troubles, he/she had gotten it of their chest and you are stuck with it. a great write on the prompt, thank you for entering!
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Internet or not the emotions are real. I felt your write. kudos and
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Personally I admire the specificity of this poem. feels real like talking to a friend over coffee. wether it is in person or over the net it seems like we fall in love with our fantasy about a person. As the relationship progresses we find out the reality of the other person which often falls short of our fantasy. At least on line you have a delete key. It is a lot messier in real life.
As to revision. I suggest going over each line and seeing if it could be said more simply with fewer words. As an example
"And now I don't just miss you because you're far away
I miss you now because you're never even in your own brain."
could be rendered
I miss you because your far away,
I miss you because you aren't in your own brain.
Any way that is my two cents.
Good luck
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