along the rail
of life's train
I walked cautiously
on one side
waiting for you to join
and know my love for you is blind
you held my hand
but you were on the other side
together we walked
afraid
heart to heart
but will you
join me
to the station of love
were together forever
we shall be?
or will the train pass in between on the rails
and kill a love that has just taken place?
on the rails together
we cautiously walked
not knowing when we'll reach
our station
were together we'll ride our life's' train
Author notes
promotion pic 10
A contest entry
- 67 Prompts :D by kurikaesu.
400 points, ended June 23, 2009, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
I enjoyed this. It seemed to flow off my lips relatively well, and it definitely made me think about relationships.
"or will the train pass in between on the rails
and kill a love that has just taken place." I'm unsure why, but those two lines pulled at me and wouldn't let go.
This was well written.
Good luck and thank you for entering my contest
☼ anneliese -
humz, it was nice
but i lacked the syllable counting lines
otherwise, it was alright
by
the poet of hearts and beautiful words
-
What a sense!
Any how, thi is so beatiful and expresive.
I think this is the poem that comes from your deep heart.
I like it more than others.
Good work.
Take care!
Scarzat
-
so nice the best of your work yassmin
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