It dances, dances through my mind,
Toying with my thoughts confined.
It paints my eyes and makes me blind,
To know that he left me behind.
It crawls up and down my spine.
This blood makes my soul undefined.
It is hard for me to think, or find
A reason to live my broken life.
I live each day as its assigned,
But I'm beginning to lose my mind.
Living with him, so unkind
To me, his embrace does this poem remind.
I'm hurt and broken, as he designed.
Lost and cold and undefined.
I cannot breathe, I cannot find
A reason to live my broken life.
What did you think
Comments
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very strict to the conent..
you describe your thoughts really well
very good write, Indeed!
by
the poet of hearts and beautiful words
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i don't like the last line
also too many undefined's
other than that it sounds pretty good
very nice job i really liked it alot -
for some reason this really works...one could argue that a poem such as this begins to soundd a little childish and cliche' but not YOU. You pulled it off beautifully. great job. Replace loose with lose. peace and light always in ALL ways, Kendal
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