when i was a child
i did not know what i wanted
and did as i was told;
opened my face and hands like a window
the better to receive god and other things
not mentioned by the bible
and i grew
each day darker and redder
first as a daughter
i was an obscene riddle
then as a woman
a good devil
made shorter by the germs and jeans
of men in a list too long to name
so i turned sly and shy
my bones salted down until they became stories
told in the dark of what happens
when you dare rise like mountains
and own a voice that leaves bite marks
on anything but time
and yet
(and yet)
if you asked
what that child wanted
just before everything turned to water
she would reply:
i would like to be autumn’s last leaf
dead of body and dreams
wingless
yet still able to fly
A contest entry
- I would like to... by Cat.
4000 points, ended July 7, 14 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
-
shit. excellent.
you brought your A game.
excellent finish.. excellent
wow..
m
-
-
You be the bee's knees, lady cat.
Thank you.
-
-
Really lovely
The structure is beautiful and one can sense the organization of the entire piece.
This is a grand forest, not a bunch of trees.
great images
memorable piece
thanks for entering!
-
I get a Romantic feel; loss through living.
Brilliant ending.
[i was an obscene riddle] Tickles me in places not often reached
-
the ending lines are stunning. I love how you've rounded this out, starting with your thoughts of childhood, and finishing with what her thoughts would be if asked. Excellent
-
"my bones salted down until they became stories"
You always have some of the most astonishing lines within your work, Darcy. You cause people to pause, gasp & absorb your phrasings like a sea of starving sponges. 
It's always well-worth the time to come by & view your writing, Sweetie. There are really so few writers that can cause inspiration, simply by reading their offerings. You are one of 'em. Good luck in Cat's contest.
-
Holy crap... I actually understood this one! Yeah, it's like right up there with "Stopping for Gas" which is still my ultimate fav piece by you. I'm totally diggin' the purposeful wordiness and conversational feel. You should do not-so-obscure more often. It suits you.
Butthead.
-
I love the thought at the end, to be human but more than that too, to be a woman and all it entails yet stay a child is a job in itself I think, you express always so beautifully. C
-
Excellent I will be back to re read and give you better comment as I am in a hurry The end of the poem was surreal and wonderful.
-
wonderful poetry..and those last lines so very beautiful. poetry that just makes itself sit in the eyes
~ Nicolette
-
my favorite is the jean-yves thibaudet version
-
-
I was actually quite taken by the Kerrilyn version. I used to listen to it when I took a bath and it was always that kind of music that was so incredibly haunting that it made you want to smile and tear up at the same time. And is it sad that I got the cd from a bath and body package??? lol
-
-
I was so glad to see you post this morning. I've always admired your work, and this is no exception.
That ending was so beauiful.
-
Ah..the truth of the life is said through the sentimental journey of the thoughts ..a heartfelt and touching scenario ..well said..thanks for sharing it..
Adding your comment:
1 - 14 of 14
