I'm sitting here
Trapped
In a world of deceit
Lies are all anyone ever tells me
My whole life was a fucking lie
And I don't know how to react to that
The people that I trusted
Loved
Called a "family"
Betrayed me
The girl I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with
fucked me over
I don't know what to do
I can barely breathe, sometimes
And I quit smoking a long time ago
I feel so overwhelmed with life
I hate this life
I swear I'm dying, sometimes
And it hurts to just be
It hurts when I sleep
When I wake
When I just sit here
No matter how hard I try I can't get my life together
I can't get anything together
It sucks
I mean...what the hell is going on with me
I can't stop cutting
drinking
Breathing
I can't stop anything anymore
I just want to die, but I can't
I swear my soul is leaving me
But no one believes me
Almost every part of it has died
mainly the two times that I did
Why couldn't I stay dead
My soul has left me
Just like everyone else
I just wish I could fallow
But this life
This...numbing pain
Won't allow me to
God just kill me already
Author notes
Life is an illusion...my brain knows that, but the rest of me won't accept it...
kick ass contest by the way...
Written March 16th, 2004
A contest entry
- Slipping by someoneweknew.
300 points, ended April 17, 2004, 40 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
-
No. It's not permanent. I've actually gotten my life slightly together. I just recently began a new relationship with the most awesome girl I've ever met. I've stopped cutting. Hell, I've even enlisted in the Navy (no brainwashing or bribing were included in me making that decision....I just got bored). The only main problem is that I started smoking again.......two days ago so...yeah. Feeling that way is only permanent if you don't try to get out of it. If I could come out of all of that, anyone can. I wish you the best and if you ever need anyone to talk to, contact me. (IM me and I'll give you my e-mail addy). Thank you for your comment as well. I love the feedback (whether it be negative or possitive).
Peace.Love.Skittles.
Crystal -
great job. you made me think...because this is how i feel..but will it be permanet? thank you
-
Excellent
I really do hope you win, you have captured something everyone well maybe mostly everybody feels in their life one time or another. This is Excellent, thanks for sharing and keep them great writes coming. -
hey i think this is a pretty fuckin cool poem and that's exactly how life is unfortunally
Lovez,
~*~Mandy~*~
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