Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Unrequited Love

If forgetfullness is what you seek,
Then I will sing you softly off to sleep,
The sweetest salve for hurt and pain,
Washing wounds like desert rain.

I am sorry if the things I did made it hard,
Its just that I believe in this too much to discard,
One of the few things I feel truly sure of,
Is that it's you that I'm supposed to love.

If it is, that you must forget,
Lay your head softly upon the pillow,
And let the sails, with kind intent,
In the winds of dreamstuff billow.

May you there happiness find,
Leave your sorrows far behind,
And I will watch you as you go,
Though you forget and do not know.

Through tinted glass I look at you,
And place my hands where yours are too,
Longing for just that simple touch,
Or perhaps a kiss, just a brush.

I am that whisper you hear,
But can't quite place in memory,
To me you are extremely dear,
And I hope that you remember me.

I want to take back the things I felt,
The bitterness that made me melt,
I love you still, with all my heart,
With that I swear I will not part.

Whatever you need, what can I do?
I want to give all your needs to you,
And if a background figure I must remain,
So be it, I will bear that pain.

So don't mind me, just hear the song,
Of a simple brooklet running by,
For I know still that we belong,
And that knowledge will be my inner supply.

Author notes

I thought that this fit the first prompt well, so I guess you could say that was my inspiration. The poem kinda tells its own story though.

A contest entry

What did you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 19 of 19
  • i loved this!!! it flowed extremelly well....and very well written and great choice of words...
    thank you for the entry and good luck!!

  • Hi there--

    Thanks for entering into my contest. I really liked these lines, I've never heard anyone use the word "dreamstuff" before but it really works:

    And let the sails, with kind intent,
    In the winds of dreamstuff billow

    Good luck in the contest!


  • Oh.My.Juliet
    July 21
    Edit | Reply
    Wow this is awesome! Very well written
    good luck and thanks for your entry

  • Wow!!

    That poem was so pretty, I loved it. I loved all the lines. It really showed selfless love in every way possible. You did amazing!

    I'm not going to even list my favorite lines because they were half the poem.

    Great write!

    Overall score: 10/10

    Thanks for entering.

  • thanks for describing my life in this....thats how i always end up..in love with someone that doesnt quite feel the same way back, but i really only want them to be happy, even if im not....

  • Thank you for the entry

    I love it. Its very..hmm...there is nothing I can say. It has left me at a loss for words. Very very good.

  • Good write, it says it all about how things seem to be ending yet, you can't let go because you know there is something more there. Good luck

  • reeks of martyrdom! I just can't wrap my head around that kind of life anymore...I think you are definately onto something new and different for yourself...you can't unknow once you know...


  • Pure Thought silver member
    June 14
    Edit | Reply
    Well written gold. I can relate all too well to this, on more than one front.

    Buddy


  • Antebellum
    June 14

    Edit | Reply
    "If it is, that you must forget,
    Lay your head softly upon the pillow,
    And let the sails, with kind intent,
    In the winds of dreamstuff billow"


    wonderful rhyme you have here. simply written, spoken greatly.
    excellent write.

  • Nicely pened poet. So much emotion in this. However, I felt that the flow of this was really haywire because of the way the meter was set up. I think, since you're rhyming, that it should go ABAB, not switch every two stanzas from ABAB to ACAC. It'd make it flow more easily. Also, I think that there could be so much more imagery added to these emotions portrayed into the story. Other than that, great job and good luck in the contest.

    Josh

    • justafeller
      June 14
      Edit | Reply
      only problem with all that is i do not preplan my poetry. i write what i feel, and how it turns out is how it should be.

      • Excellent point good art is not planned it is created from the heart and the mind of the artist! I never plan mine either, it always turns out best that way!


  • Enrinye
    June 13

    Edit | Reply
    Wondeful write, very well written with some lovely images and great rhyming! it moved me very much, a tender proclamation of love to someone...

    good job!
    take care
    Suza


  • PhoenixFaith
    June 11

    Edit | Reply
    I can totally relate to what you have said in this piece. It is very beautiful and the rhyming is flawless. There is always feelings like this in the world and I can say I have felt like this. I really love this write!!!!

    Best of luck and thanks for entering
    Kate

  • PianoMan
    June 11

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. This is incredible. I have actually felt like this before so I know exactly what this is like. If the other person doesn't return the feelings, then just like you said we will still remain as background figures, watching out for and caring for. Good job!

  • kamulneix
    June 6
    Edit | Reply
    My first thought is unrequited love.

  • kamulneix
    June 6
    Edit | Reply

    Very Good

1 - 19 of 19