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Of stolen eyes and swollen needs.

 

 

 

 

 

i.

you asked me for my world--

 

so i spread my arms

and sighed for you...

 

until you became unnecessary,

like an ancient scab

not healing a sore

 

and so you picked yourself

away from my skin.

 

 

 

 

ii.

your grand gestures

flaked with fatigue,

to become no more than a bunch

of short-worded slicks

of fake...

 

and you would always take,

but never give,

so fate eventually fuelled me

 

empty.

 

 

 

 

iii.

you painted sunrises

on transparent curtains

that never creased

 

yet you ceased to love the light

between life's seams

 

and every time i opened my lungs

you closed my eyes

with cruelty.

 

 

 

 

iv.

you stole scenarios

and wore them as your own

and often had the audacity

to ask me

if they were a perfect fit

 

so i told you that jesus

had olive skin

and that she wasn't to blame

for dying as a man.

 

 

 

 

v.

you became my saviour--

 

my kindred spirit

and i saw myself within

your core

 

but cowardice curdled you

inadequate

and you failed to feel forgiveness

because you held loyalties

to your lies.

 

 

 

 

vi.

we have etched an enigma

of equilibrium,

but i swing so much higher

than the power

you pretend to possess--

 

honesty outweighs obesity's onus

and yet,

i've known loss 

alot longer than you.

 

 

 

 

vii.

you defrocked the heart of me

and rocked my waking wants,

until you happened

upon a treasured touch

 

yet you don't know my miracle

and have yet

to see me shine.

 

 

 

 

viii.

you draw your own dreams

and i die divine;

 

yesterday...

 

you gave me to glory,

and so i suck my soul

 

away.

 

 

 

 

 

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Comments

1 - 16 of 16
  • Wow this is very good! I like how you wrote this. Congratulations on your gold trophy! Keep up your amazing work!

    TwiztidMaggot

  • Great...


    "Of stolen eyes and swollen needs" has showed the poetential (Poet's potential) for a mastership.

    I have enjoyed the reading of "Of stolen eyes and swollen needs" for its contents and imagery.

    May Mother-Poet, – the author of this unique Poem, “You”, – keep feeding the humanity of Your mind to nourish the eternity of Your Soul.

    In admiration,

    Andre Emmanuel Bendavi ben-YEHU

  • wonderfulwork and a pleasure to read as always take care Laura


  • twiztedjna
    June 9

    Edit | Reply
    This is absolutely amazing!! The imagery through the text is great. This is very beautiful. Your a very good writer! <33

  • This is really beautiful.
    I can't help just fall into the imagery and word choice, like they are an abyss; one that I want to fall into, however.

  • Hi, La.

    I have been reading all your recent poems, but not commenting much. I'm not in a commenting frame of mind - everything I have dropped off at people's work recently has been flippant, so I have spared you that. But I'll keep on reading.

    • i'd accept flippancy...i'd accept anything that is you, for i know it is always honest. i'm glad you're still reading...the diary stopped, but the days didn't


  • aanika
    June 6

    Edit | Reply
    the first stanza of iii. was beautiful. my favourite in the poem.

    your imagery is always so pretty and soft and your flow is always gorgeous.
    you are truly a brilliant poet.

  • Both pain and pleasure walk within the lines of this poem, it reaches into the heart and soul, may you always walk with the mircile of your being, love John

  • The flavor of love and hate hangs like a veil sometimes, it's hard to open it and see beyond the past and leave it where it is. C

  • I hate the word "suck"
    But it's personal. I just hate it. Lol, i'm ranting.

    Anyway, this is real deep. You think I know? Hell, i don't! It felt like you were combining everything and hitting it back hard in words.

    Anyway, this is raw, real, and quite different, less layered than your other writes - which is a good thing every once in a while


  • etoile
    June 6

    Edit | Reply
    wow, this is incredible!
    I loved the third vignette so much

  • "of teeny little slicks" - wasn't crazy about the diction. maybe come up with something better? i know you could...hence the criticism.
    Other than that, this is one of your best in my opinion. The images and ideas you came up with told the story perfectly and seamlessly. What an emotional journey - and you made the reader feel your pain and (ironically) pride. This is truly incredible.

    • i edited, yet kept the same bitter and sarcastic tone...hmm. i somehow don't feel better for the writing of it...yet

      love you bro

1 - 16 of 16