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The Last Supper

You tremble as you feel the fear
and wipe away a frozen tear
As frosted fingers reach inside
an inner voice says "open wide".

You eat your fill and close the door
Then walk away, still needing more
As inner demons eat your soul
You search for strength to reach your goal.

Within your hand a blade of steel
To slice away at your next meal
As you expand it's understood
A pound of flesh will do you good.

An appetite for thick whipped cream
is eating at your self esteem
Another layer in the mould
A gram of fat within each fold

A red hot poker strikes once more
as mind and body hit the floor
You should have had that fruit instead
Too late my friend, this time your dead.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 23 of 23

  • just mercedes gold member
    October 18

    Edit | Reply
    The great rhyme and rhythm had me floating along with your words quite happily - until the final line - what a crunch! Really well done!


  • kerrypn
    August 10

    Edit | Reply
    Show us how it's done! Scans perfectly in Iambic tetrameter, building up a beautiful rhythm, which is of course polished by your rhyme. Very clever title, and original metaphor used throughout. Fantastic poem. Slight oopsie on last line your/you're but otherwise PERFECT!


  • Andre ben-YEHU
    June 30
    Edit | Reply

    Very impressive imagery, rhythm and symbolism.

    It stimulates art, feeds the mind and ignites the dynamo of creativity.

    In respect and admiration

    Andre Emmanuel Bendavi ben-YEHU

  • Jake Summers
    June 24

    Edit | Reply
    Took me by surprise at the last. Great write and so well penned with a good message. Very well rhymed and flow too. Keep on penning.
    Jake


  • islekine gold member
    June 11

    Edit | Reply

    Well...Three writes in a row

    that lean towards the dark side...Your ending took me totally by surprise! Well penned...Thanks for sharing your talent again..and your continued support of our contests...Best wishes in the contest and always!
    Write on...


  • aboomer silver member
    June 11
    Edit | Reply
    lol - funny, but not....
    wonderful flow, great wording, great message in this - especially for someone who overeats, or eats the wrong things and ends up paying for it with their health, their life....
    nicely done - I enjoyed this.

    thank you for your entry
    best wishes in the contest


  • Callisto Athena gold member
    June 11

    Edit | Reply
    Exquisitely rhymed little piece that left me quite dazzled and not the least bit hungry.. Very delightful read..


  • LittleMoon silver member
    June 10

    Edit | Reply
    Oh dear this is too much like me. A very good write and i enjoyed it. Good luck with this. Sheila

  • Starz of Heaven gold member
    June 10

    Edit | Reply
    This is a great poem the ending thew me off though but still a nice piece all in all thanks for taking the time to enter best wishes always be well.


  • Gwenevere
    June 7
    Edit | Reply
    Yum !!! just a small portion for me please


  • cricketjeff gold member
    June 7

    Edit | Reply
    Beautifully done

    And I have to report the apple crumble custard and Ice cream I just ate were superb

    Lovely rhyme and flow and bang on content!

    Jeff


  • whoudini
    June 7
    Edit | Reply

    Hey the message is taken and well I am the opposite.

    I rarely eat but when i do i always feel guilty for eating to much at a short time and not trying to keep weight down, just a natural way of maintaining by eating only when I think I feel like but not to much where I feel sick , but you describe this well and yes guilty pleasures and you did well with this and will look forward to more of your work.

  • Andre ben-YEHU
    June 7
    Edit | Reply

    Excellent


    Through a hilarious mood "The Last Supper" deals on ontological and teleological matters delivering a profound message in good rhythm of poetic grand.

    I am impressed and pleased with the addition of this gold piece to The English Fine Letters.

    In admiration,

    Andre Emmanuel Bendavi ben-YEHU


  • Kendal Palmer gold member
    June 7

    Edit | Reply
    I thought your rhyming and flow with this were superb. I wasn't expecting the ending. Good luck with the contest. peace and light always in ALL ways, kp


  • Sue Cardwell gold member
    June 6
    Edit | Reply
    Oh Ros, I know the temptations so very well, you have managed to put into words the perils of an unhealthy diet, if only we could get rid of that little voice inside that says "go on, it won't hurt".

    An excellent write and a pleasure to read.

    All the best in the contest.

    Sue


  • darkmermaid
    June 6

    Edit | Reply
    Great poem. You have a way with words and you delivered your message clearly. Great work! "You search for strength to reach you goal".shouldn't it be "your goal".


  • Aalta silver member
    June 6

    Edit | Reply
    Oh the guilt of eating..... it is just so relevant

    Another layer in the mould
    A gram of fat within each fold

    every person's story..... you have done a wonderful job of putting this into words .... really good poem
    i love it

1 - 23 of 23