i wrote this about HIM♥

Do u want me to be honest?? i rly wont b, i never will. believe me. i miss Samuel and when he left me i lost everything. I wont ever get better if anything it will get worse. I miss him and rly love him and i know that no one will ever b able to love him as much as i did. I worry about him just as much as every one is worred about me, he rly ment a lot to me and to find out i ment nothing to him rly hurts. I miss him and rly love him so idk i wont ever be better knowing that May 1st 2009 i lost my best friend not to death but by choice which hurts more then death b/c death u cant controle but choice u can. But what ever its his lose not mine and if he rly doesnt want to b my friend he dont have to, i know he dont care about me but after everyday for 3 years i have been in love with this guy who is a godes to me, perfect in every way and most importently the one who stole my heart and never gave it back. Every day when i am happy something happens and reminds me of him and everything that once matterd doesnt matter no more. It hurts every time i think about how much i loved him and how we were so close, i wasa sure we would b friends forever and maybe some day date but now i know its over, over forever. I might not make it through the summer, i wont b able to see him at all let alone talk to him so idk. It hurts more then anything and rly i would rather die right now b/c its too hard to live knowing that the only person that knows me more then anyone else is no longer in my life. I wish i could share with him everything i felt right now but i know he doesnt care so idk, i just dont know what to do any more or what to say. I am hurting on the inside and outside and forever will b, i know ppl go though this all the time but for me personaly its hard and my friends can see the pain i am feeling and r worryed about me but i cant change what happend so therefor i will stay upset. I just miss the one person i feel in love with and ended up ending b/c of me being so in love with him, if i wasent always so close to him all the god dame fucking time. So ur answer is NO, i wont ever b ok.......