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Melisa

Melisa my dear.
May I whisper in your ear
Or let you tell me your wrath and hope I-
recognize that. You are not who you seem-
Perhaps I am in a dream

Shall you awaken me from the pain
And let me fly free once again
Or shall I lie here in sorrow in the-
hope of a new tomorrow

You are not who I desire
Your passion is filled with lust
Circumcised in fire!

I feel your joys are built on sorrow-
of the lost long ago yesterday
And a slight hatred for tomorrow

How can I act- so wise

Write a letter- full of disguise
Let you know how I feel
And pretend as if you and I are not for real

Maybe I have touched a form of the new society
A child in drag -- Or just a meticulous fag
And what do's it mean to me
Shall I touch you - Allow you to feel my sorrow
Wish for you- to give me your sympathy

Melisa,Melisa my dearest Melisa
All that I see in thee
Is just a pure unadulterated fantasy

May I ask you to be a friend
Wish that I won't see beyond the clothing
The truth-- Of what can only lead to an immortal end

Here is a statement in truth-without justification of a lie
I am not a Fem! -Nor do I wish to pretend
Desires the evening before were built on sorrow-

          nothing more


If you would of allowed your self to push it further
I would of made a choice between now your never
For in truth I was lost between both

A desire, a longing to touch. A beauty who's meeting-
now fills me with solemn regret
            -- Melisa --

 The word brings pain to my tongue
As I whisper it softly

 To no one!






Author notes

R o l a n d H a l l o w a y

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 25 of 25

  • lesbian-in-love
    September 5
    Edit | Reply
    This was good! Thanks for entering and good luck!


  • kylierenea
    August 19

    Edit | Reply
    This is a very well written poem, I really enjoyed reading it! I especially liked the lines, "Desires the evening before were built on sorrow-
    nothing more"

    I really enjoyed this poem. Thanks for entering my contest, keep up the good work


  • Night Terrors
    July 31

    Edit | Reply
    awe how sweet and so very personal I really liked this great job keep up the good work. and thank so much for entering


  • Mango Memories gold member
    July 22

    Edit | Reply
    I loved this.

    Very emotional and honest it was!

    i liked your ryhme as well!

    Well done on a fab write cupcake


  • Ami
    July 21

    Edit | Reply
    wow this was really good my favorite part was the second stanza Thanks for entering my contest and good luck

    -♥Amy♥


  • Vintage Chiffon
    July 16

    Edit | Reply
    I am lost here - I don't get what your trying to say in this poem and I am questioning what it has to do with my contest


  • Palas Kumar Ray
    July 14
    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful!

    Very honest confession to one's own self.

  • love-taylor-love
    July 8
    Edit | Reply
    this is really good,
    i can feel your pain,
    your sorrow.
    good luck


  • forbidden-colour
    July 8

    Edit | Reply
    Dedication poems have always been a favourite of mine.
    I loved reading this, it warmed my heart.
    Thank you for entering.
    Sophie


  • DancingRed
    July 7

    Edit | Reply
    Pretty much the same as what I've commented on some of your other pieces. I don't care for end-rhyme myself and this poem needs work in regard to spelling. Could be more succinct, too. Thanks for entering, though.
    DancingRed.


  • Serenity-words
    July 5

    Edit | Reply
    This is a beautiful poem, some spelling errors here and there but hey we are all human right? So let us not dwell on it. This is such a fantastic poem filled with passion and lust and all that other good stuff

    Favorite lines
    "Write a letter- full of disguise
    Let you know how I feel
    And pretend as if you and I are not for real"

    Splendid
    ~Serenity


  • Maggie Kay gold member
    June 13

    Edit | Reply
    beautiful ending, such a heart felt piece. thank you so much for entering and hsaring it keep it up kmp


  • Budart
    June 13

    Edit | Reply
    This poem is too flowery for the purposes of this contest. What is said in sixty lines could have been said more directly and with a lot more punch in ten. thanks for your entry


  • pain is love.
    June 12

    Edit | Reply
    The flow of this piece was wonderful as was the rhyme. It was a little on the long side but the great emotion that came through made it worth it. Thank you for you entry!


  • PhoenixFaith
    June 11

    Edit | Reply
    Very good rhyme scheme it flowed wonderfully. Very emotional as well, good job.

    best of luck and thanks for entering
    Kate


  • CentrifugalCorpse
    June 10

    Edit | Reply
    This is very well-written. I enjoyed your rhyme scheme.
    I noticed a few errors you might want to revise though:
    "recognize that. You are not who you seem"
    Is there supposed to be a period? It seemed a bit awkward.
    "fly free ounce again"
    'Ounce' or 'once'?

    Other than that, this was a beautiful poem. Thanks for sharing and good luck!


  • Amanda Lee
    June 10

    Edit | Reply

    i like it..

    i love this poem... i love the flow it has and the heart.. but the only thing that i would fix is the word toung.. just add an E at the end of it.. other than that though great wirte


  • Enrinye
    June 10

    Edit | Reply
    I liked the flowing of the poem, the playing with words but a detail made me not fully appreciate this lovely piece and it was the repetition of the word 'sorrow' -there are other synonyms you could have used...still, it is full of emotion, especially the longing of the character for melissa was heartwrenching...

    keep up the good work
    take care


  • Hannah Carr
    June 10
    Edit | Reply
    nice write thanks for entering

  • Writing0Freedom
    June 9

    Edit | Reply
    I liked the ending but I strongly object to the use of the word Fag, because if its about love that word really has no place in a poem that's not bashing. I agree mostly with Rashida.


  • MelissahhMidnite
    June 8
    Edit | Reply
    very nice
    thanks for entering


  • nobodys-girl
    June 7

    Edit | Reply
    this is so full of love...i loved to read it!!! thank you so much for entering my contest and best of luck!


  • Just Venting
    June 6

    Edit | Reply
    I love it. The feeling of this piece is very moving. I find myself caring for the narrator and her love for Melisa.

1 - 25 of 25