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first poem

I feel sick and I just want to scream.
I want to just start crying and never stop
I want to cut my wrist and see the blood just fall out
I don’t want the blood to stop just to feel the pain
I want to throw up and I want it to burn
I want to scream and yell and kill something
I want to tell you how I’m feeling right now but I can’t
You wouldn’t listen I want to forget
I want to forget everything to forget how much I need you
Then I remember I can’t just forget this
Even if you want to I can’t
Everything reminds me of you
Hearing skillet on the radio or just playing it myself
Listening to those nights just makes me cry
Just thinking of those nights when we used to be friends
Makes me wish that those nights wouldn’t have had to end
I never see you anymore and it kills me
Your always with someone else and leaving me out
I want to start crying and never have to stop
I want to not be able to feel anything anymore
I want to say something to someone…..to ANYONE but no one understands
Everyone is happy and I can’t be normal like everyone else
You all have other friends who you can talk to and I just can’t
It used to be someone but I can’t tell you anything anymore.
You like her more than me now and I still hate her
What do I do about it?
There’s nothing
You don’t understand it anymore
They don’t get me at all
I’m having issues that I don’t even understand

A contest entry

What did you think

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • hershey101
    November 10
    Edit | Reply
    i understand how feel i kno how the pain hurt ok well thanks for sharing and thanks for entering and good luck


  • savemysoul
    November 8

    Edit | Reply
    i can relate to everything in thiss. it's hard, and the pain, the blood, the sweat, and most deffinetly the tears, shape us to who we're supposed to be. i know how hard it is to get through it, but once we do, we come out being a way better person before it happened. remember there is always light in your time of darkness. i'm here if you need anything and just keep your head looking forward because the past isn't gonna get you anywhere. thanks for entering and good luck.

    -- jordan.


  • Leanna-bean
    August 24

    Edit | Reply
    This is a very amazing poem and I know how you must have felt going through this. I have had friends do some really mean things to me before but the key is to say screw them. They are so not worth your tears or your blood!!! Love yourself...In the end that's all that really matters... Thank you so very much for taking the time to enter my contest and good luck to you my friend!!!


  • tears.of.silence
    August 11

    Edit | Reply

    Is this really your 1st poem?

    To let you know, I use a grade scale of a 100 points to judge my contest. 25 poins for originality, 25 points for spelling and grammar, and 50 points for keeping my interest all the way through your poem.

    I give you 20 poits for Originality. The only reason I took 5 points from you here is due to the feel of your poem and the fact you could use a bit different word choice. Sometime we can use words too much and it takes away from the poem. While your poem is strong of emotion, you could use other words to convey them.

    I give you 20 for spelling and grammar. Skillet should be capped. It's a proper noun due to the fact that it's a band name. (By the way, I love Skillet.)

    You've earned 40 points for the interesting factor. I felt interested with the way you began your poem. You repeated the fist letter of each sentence and that was really giving a good flow. Then you changed up on it, and then went back to repeating the I's.. Your emtions changed within the poem as well and the transition of the emotions seemed to flow awkwardly.

    You have a total of 80 points. I ask that you do not remove your poem from the contest. At this time I'm only adding the 95 or above scores to the finalist list. Once I have gone through, I will then add my favorites that have a lower score to the list. I want to thank you for entering the contest and best of luck to you.

    Kahy


  • black-phenoqu
    July 4

    Edit | Reply

    the ending is a little abrupt, but not bad for your first poem. thanks for entering

    i like the hopelessness in this. it would be cool if you made it sort of seep out of the words, but , oh well


  • Unles Forever
    June 6
    Edit | Reply
    Yes this one is realy powerfull, even for your first..
    I liked it, alot.
    Just keep writing


  • silentlovex3
    June 5

    Edit | Reply
    wow very powerful

    I want to cut my wrist and see the blood just fall out
    I don’t want the blood to stop just to feel the pain
    I want to throw up and I want it to burn
    I want to scream and yell and kill something

    ^ i feel like that too alot

    great poem!

1 - 7 of 7