Blank Page Lie

“God grant me the serenity…” he said.
Gathering strength to face another day
On his knees at night to thank Him and pray
Fearing demons would clutter his dark head.

Conquered by mistrust of those who loved him
Bitterness bore holes into his bare soul
Feeling on his own and no longer whole
Mad for having to go out on a limb

Seduced by deceit of eternal peace
My steady companion whose hands toiled
Now a crumpled heap, lying blood soiled
Why was I missing his when life had ceased?

Blank page by his side held nothing but lies,
Truth was found only in his vacant eyes.

Author notes

Not commented on in this contest, which I removed: http://allpoetry.com/contest/2448525

(Prompt was "Blank Page Lie")

Background: This is about my soulmate who commited suicide a few years ago right before my birthday (this month). He died alone and paranoid. He was angry at everyone who loved him. He felt used by everyone. He died feeling alone and unloved.

There was an unwritten suicide note by his side.