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3 am

 ~*~

 

 

Stars wink at the moonlight 

dancing upon the lonely image.

 

Mind tossed...

caught by intuitive breezes
seducing curtains sway,
restlessly skimming
surface to shivers~

~fingers follow,

trying to catch his breath

heading south
alone to see, the sleepy dreams
awakening.

 

 

 

~*~

Author notes

prompt was: We are always in our own company

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 18 of 18

  • ShaShay
    September 9

    Edit | Reply
    Nice work. I had a soft feeling throughout the piece. Keep writing so we can keep reading.
    Sharon


  • JinSays gold member
    July 7

    Edit | Reply
    ~fingers follow,
    trying to catch his breath
    heading south

    this part is just lovely.
    Love,
    jin


  • penman gold member
    June 18
    Edit | Reply

    Wonderful

    Very well expressed. A terrific word choice. Thank you for sharing.

  • Loved those opening lines - almost pushing the edges to act. Nice work here. ~Pamela

  • Wow this is just stunning, you captured such a beautiful feel to this piece. Beautifully crafted. Best to you in the contest

  • You have a wonderful way with sensual, you give it that extra that so impresses.
    A far out dream, best to you always.
    Smile beautiful.

    Tony

  • Oh this is just so tasty, with just delicious images.
    NIcely penned

  • I think you were beautifully inspired.

    Enjoyed.

    mmm you.

  • Who said Nietzsche couldn't be beautiful, you proved that is is beyond beautiful C

  • mmmm, just what does one say here,
    without a prompt, I am left to advert my eyes
    from the obvious and be intrigued
    by the "seducing _ curtains sway"

    there is much to consider here

    • LOL hehe.. I reposted the prompt. I removed it from the contest and I liked it so I kept it, but I suppose I should have kept the prompt there. lol Didnt even consider how it would come across. lol Thanks for comming by

  • A complete delightfulness, rather than mess. lol
    Loved the metaphore and imagery in this one, took the prompt into another stage and poured so much emotion into it.
    Good luck in the contest.

    ~Noor

  • "skimming
    surface to shivers~" - very nice alliteration. I like where you went with the prompt. you took a very dark man's words and turned it into a very soft poem. thank you for entering, goodluck

  • "Restlessly skimming / surface to shivers" actually gave me goosebumps. Very imaginative take on the prompt, and your imagery is wonderful. I love the visual of trying to catch breath with your fingers. The last few lines feel fragmented, though—punctuation/capitalization issue, maybe? Overall, it's beautiful. Great choice for the background, too. Good luck!


  • liltulip gold member
    June 5

    Edit | Reply

    wasn't expecting

    such beauty with a Nietzsche prompt, but this is lovely...very nicely done, good luck in the contest!

    • LOL Well I just took the words not so much who said them as inspiration.
      Thank you for the nice comment.

1 - 18 of 18