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Doorsteps

I am knocking from the outside
And I'm wobbling from within
Does my lover stand behind that door
And will he let me in

Will he let me glide beside him
On this ice rink carousel
Take the slips with grace and humour
Make me grateful that I fell

As I wobble on the outside
My heart's knocking from within
Does my future stand behind that door
Can happiness begin

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 9 of 9
  • jobloffski
    September 10
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    Posting again

    Because I forgot to applaud

  • jobloffski
    September 10

    Edit | Reply

    Magic

    You have a magic with words I wish I had. I'm not sure I can say anything else that would do the job of conveying my admiration. Sweet.


  • amaranthine lover gold member
    June 27

    Edit | Reply
    This is wonderfully writ. I am not a fan of rhyme, but I do see something beyond pedestrian here. There is a fresh perspective that is beginning to emerge.


  • individuality gold member
    June 27

    Edit | Reply
    hehehe the word wobble has been a major part of my life for the last few days and what do i find here in a poem i clicked in at random, the word wobble, it made me smile for it has a very personal meaning to me. so thanks and i enjoyed reading your poem

  • Mercury Rising
    June 25

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    You have a very elegant and simple style that lends itself to both honest and vulnerable expression, without all the fancy frills we poets sometimes like to prance around in. A very lovely poem that was a real pleasure to read as always. I greatly admire the human quality of your works.


  • Cup-a-Joe
    June 7

    Edit | Reply
    You rhyme so good. I am very envious.
    I await your next poem.

    Joe


  • quantumsurveyor
    June 6

    Edit | Reply
    This piece has such charm and wit and at the same time it is full of reality. I really liked it -- I hope the contest setter likes it as much.


  • GotLilt
    June 5
    Edit | Reply
    I like it!!

  • jaie2007
    June 5

    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful piece as usual!!!

    The lyrical queen of allpoetry is back! Stephanie, you write such graceful and elegant verses. You create from nothing and make nothing beautiful and sensual.

    "Will he let me glide beside him
    On this ice rink carousel
    Take the slips with grace and humor
    and make me grateful that I fell"

    Simply heavenly.

    Marcus

1 - 9 of 9