I escaped my hovel for a single day,
The weather serene, the air smelling of hay.
Through the village I strode, walking on clouds,
The sun shining brightly, and birds singing proud.
A more lovely day I could not remember,
The world was aglow with nature’s sweet splendor,
The people I passed were happy and gay,
While going about their chores of the day.
Unhappy thoughts were soon things of the past,
And I wished forever this sweet day would last.
The markets were laden with the bounty of nature,
And I hoped forever this moment to capture.
I happened upon an old man singing sweetly,
And as I approached, his kindly eyes rose to greet me.
The wisdom of time I could discern in his face,
It was clear to me that he’d run every race.
I hailed him warmly, and offered my hand,
And watched with compassion as he struggled to stand.
But he missed not a note and continued to sing,
His sonorous voice a wondrous thing.
He spoke no words, but singing remained,
But his song spoke of sorrow, misery and pain.
It wasn’t my wish to hear things of such sadness,
For rare are the days that my heart can find gladness.
So I hastened my gait, and bade him good morrow,
But his words lured me back with their timbre and sorrow.
His songs spoke of battles, some won and some lost,
Young lives that were squandered, in spite of the cost.
Of pestilence and plague, his verses were filled,
Of hunger and famine, and lives unfulfilled.
As he paused for a moment to capture his breath,
I could see he’d peered deeply into the cold eyes of death.
When his woeful song had come to an end,
I turned away quickly, my day left to spend.
My thoughts turned somber as through the market I strode,
The sun now obscured and the wind blowing cold.
As I hastened my step, and resolved not to tarry,
My shoulders felt burdened with a load hard to carry.
I searched dearly for a reason my heart felt so crossed,
But found it was merely sweet innocence lost.
Author notes
I'm not completely finished with this, I'd like to flesh it out a bit more, the only problem is that when I do that some folks say that it is too long.
A contest entry
- ...Help me by Mokashi Senyu.
400 points, ended August 10, 107 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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You did a wonderful job on this rhyming quatrain. You bring the reader into the story with your introspective feelings and emotions and that amplifies the story. Well done!
Love,
Amera♥
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A testament of inspiring empathy
What you have written so far is an amazing exhibition of deep sensitivity. That you should feel to the heart the sorrow of innocence lost through the stories of the old man is a testament of inspiring empathy. For your exchange you did receive wisdom, which might be mentioned to replace some of the sadness. This poem has a beautiful flow and a deep heart, sometimes it takes a while to describe so much.
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Good One
I've done that before,thinking of all the places you could go with a poem,not knowing when to end.I think this is fine.I have met this old man before and know exactly where you are coming from.
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Thank You
for reading my poem and the applause, I'll be checking out your work soon!
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I really like this just the way it is. I often write story poems myself and I do find it's difficult to end them. It's like reading a good book: I just want to stay there a little longer.
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