Please, Cut me no more with your 'candy-coated' razor blades
painted prettily with all your tecnicolor lies.
I tell you the hollow truth,
just pass me the noose and I'll tie the knot.
You fill my dreams with the falling star's screams,
All the while my heart stops 'till I awake
My tears have turned to shards of ice and
Am now, rubbed raw and bleeding.
Your deadly sweet crayons can melt on both of us for all I care.
your worthless affections tastes likes bloodied metal and rust,
and in exchange for niceties and hostile words
you'll be left waltzing with a dead lover.
Author notes
I took a collage of about ten or so promts from the freewrite and this is what I got so far.
Help Me Feel Again
A contest entry
- Help Me Shed my Skin (PW welcome!) by TheDemonEve.
1100 points, ended June 29, 78 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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The last stanza jarrs me and seems to take away from the rest of the poem. The first 3 stanzas are original and wrenched with amazing emotion, but the last stanza left me a little disappointed. Try reworking it.
Best of luck and thanks for entering! -
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Thank you so much, I'm thinking about just removing it altogether.
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