It’s a curious thought…
To know that I stand here at the edge of this cliff…
Writing these words on a scrap of paper with my dead mother’s pen.
Knowing, perhaps…. My existence was all in vain.
From my desperate struggles to stay above the waves…
To my irrational decision to linger for eternity.
Forever bound to walk this accursed earth…
Not even my whispers are heard in the wind.
Yes… very curious indeed…
Sad, though. To know my selfish act to seduce another
Instead of the one I was meant to love.
My wife… she left me.
And I cry for her each night.
I shouldn’t.
And I feel guilty each waking hour.
But I loved her.
And I fear I must get her back.
And yet… time holds me back.
It’s been over a year since I knew her.
And everything about her, I don’t deserve.
Her beauty,
Her kindness and her huge heart.
Thinking she’s reaching out to me…
And yet I selfishly shrink into my corner.
Too afraid to commit myself entirely.
Because our goodbye, no matter how far away it may seem…
It will be far too sudden.
It will destroy me to see her move on.
To watch her settle down, and have another man’s kids.
To watch her eyes gaze into his like they did to mine…
It’ll be like ripping out my heart and shoving it into my bloody hands…
Expecting me to cope.
Not to cry.
And to take it like a man.
But I cannot.
I’m far too weak.
And how to tell her…
Again. I daren’t.
I don’t know how foolish I’ve become.
(This cliff is looking suddenly very inviting.)
I’m in despair.
Knowing I only have two more years to love her.
Knowing that time is againsed our hopes and dreams…
And one day it will snip the silver twine…
The thread of dreams we always used to spin.
I’m lost.
Full of self-hatred.
Full of a burning passion to continue where I left off.
Life was much better when I hated the world.
But that girl… somehow taught me to love once more.
And I almost hate her for it.
Almost…
But I can’t.
My lust gets the better of me each time.
I feel so dirty,
Possessing a seventeen-year-old girl.
Hating myself every second of the day.
Praying that, one day…
The lord will have mercy on my soul…
To smite me dead and leave me to burn in Hell…
But… no matter how much I love her…
How foolish can I get…
I can’t possibly tell her.
That’d be far too selfish, of course.
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Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Will, it is not selfish (i think just maybe we need to talk at some point!), yes I agree the whole just sucks! but we are going to get through together, at the moment I'm not sure exactly how but we will
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awww Jimmy
Things will work out
and whats going on with your house I hear there was a fire or somthing?
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Wow
this poem makes you sound like a lesbian my friend great write i love this part
I’m in despair.
Knowing I only have two more years to love her.
Knowing that time is againsed our hopes and dreams…
And one day it will snip the silver twine…
The thread of dreams we always used to spin.
I’m lost.
Full of self-hatred.
Full of a burning passion to continue where I left off.
I feel so dirty,
Possessing a seventeen-year-old girl.
Hating myself every second of the day.
Praying that, one day…
The lord will have mercy on my soul…
To smite me dead and leave me to burn in Hell…
i love those parts and you can see why there really great awesome write im glad i had the time to read this thanks.
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I'm not. But It'd be suicide if I were to explain it to you mate. Thanks for comment.
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forgot these
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dont jump
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Haha. I won't...
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good
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