She handled me gently
a soft tear washed down her face
as she carried my smooth white paper
and dropped me down a hole.
Constant noise, drifting about
tight and cramped, can't breathe
I met Dear Joey, and Dear Mom
and even one name Energy Fuc...
(he never would talk)
Loud creaking, Light cascades
and being lifted up we flew
Into a big dirty brown bag.
sighs... At least it's not still air!
Met some more, unobtrusive notes
and they seemed rather distant
as we made our way to the gray;
that huge big eagle we became.
Dumped together, rustlers shout
rips and tears, fling about's
More darkness I have found
dumped into big gray bins.
crashing booms and whirring wind
an airplane I have found to land
Remembering days when the next
door page, became the plane I wanted to be
Sigh...
But this letters' fate, ends not so easily
you see, They couldn't read the addressee;
so off again, they changed my course
and took me to... The dreaded door.
day upon day I curled up in a bin
edges yellowing, pencil smudged
tears along ago forgotten
trash of yesterday's tomorrow...
The man came 'round gathering us all up
my heart grew lighter, thinking 'My time is up'!
Just as daylight seemed to welcome our pages
Bright flashes, searing heat, choked smoke- final goodbyes...
Dear love
I am writing
to you to let you know
that Our love
Never ending and you
have given
me so much please
forgive me for the
pain I have caused...
Good -
Bye...
Smoke filled words transcended upon
the heavens pipeward bounds...
Author notes
Prompt: Dead Mail- Write as the letter, document, notification, or whatever kind of mail that was sent, but never received. 'You' are laying in a pile with other pieces of undeliverable mail. Think of something you may have received, (good or bad) and imagine if you hadn't.. . .Don't be the addressee, be the mail. I hope this makes sense!
A contest entry
- Poems That Tell A Story by HyperSoccergal8.
525 points, ended June 15, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - [sorry if we can't all be unoriginal] but I have a mold to break. by Antebellum.
550 points, ended June 29, 133 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites Preretites Prewrites! 2 by pain is love..
490 points, ended August 2, 136 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - To Be Put On My Favorites List by Ted E Bare.
400 points, ended October 15, 248 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Well? Don't read it without letting me know what you thought!
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
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I truly enjoyed the angle you took with writing this piece and how it turned out. Be very proud of this one. I want to thank you for your entry into the following contest: "To Be Put On My Favorites List."
Ted E
PS: Your entry has been blessed by the three wise clappers, but don't spend the whole nine points in one place(lol)!
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"Dear love
I am writing
to you to let you know
that Our love
Never ending and you
have given
me so much please
forgive me for the
pain I have caused...
Good -
Bye...
"
Loved this part. wonderful form. Thank you for entering. -
Great wright, a pleasure to read.
I love it!
Nela
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This was very well done! What a journey you took us on, from beginning to end. So sad that this message didn't get to whom it was intended. This was great. Thank you for entering and good luck!
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This is so well fitted to the prompt, the flow is and message is great. I need to revisit the last stanza as smoke filled words broken up by the drifting gritty soot of a cigarette or pipe burning away.
I like it, I like it so!
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i love your take on the prompt, well done !!
i like the way you had the mail interact with each other, sad ending though but well written
Blessings
Rend
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Excellent piece here
A sure winner in the contest this is truly a perfect poem for the prompt
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A stunning piece of work and the paper plane just sets the mood. I've written these paper foils and wondered if they made their mark...wondered if it was just words that flew by the dark side of the moon. -c
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Thank you for entering.
A good piece, I was rather put off but your erratic stanza towards the end but good anyway. -
Excellent
'tis a fine write, indeed. You expressed your thoughts quite well. Thanks for sharing this one with us. Again, well done. -
A very unique piece that I thoroughly enjoyed. Nice take on the prompt.
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Fantastic prompt! Your words held me captive through the final word. Seeing it from the letters point of view, you filled this with emotion, suspense, and finally, sadness. I loved it
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Wow. This is one of the most creative and interesting poems I have read in a loooooong time. I am so impressed I actually have no words. Which is rare for me cause I usually have plenty of input to share. You gave the letter so much emotion and personification I almost wanted to cry for it. This should be the winner by far! GOOD LUCK!!!
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this is fantastic! i am rather speechless other than that and feel as a failure as a writer after reading it. thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest you have entered. viyanna rosemarie
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Brilliant Imagery! I just got so caught up in the interaction with the other letters.
"Constant noise, drifting about
tight and cramped, can't breathe
I met Dear Joey, and Dear Mom
and even one name Energy Fuc...
(he never would talk)"
Wow. Brava!
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The piece of mail could say so much - but its words never met the reader. The peace and comfort that it may have given- maybe even a second chance at happiness. Instead, the words would never be heard. Awesome write!
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I think my dear daughter that you have found your muse. I really love how you did this and the presentation is outstanding. the pov that it was in, just amazes me.. YEAH!!!
good luck
mommy
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Very well thought out! I love the way you brought this picture to life with your words. I especially loved the last stanza in this. Great work and good luck to you with this poem my dear! Take care and keep up the wonderful work here!
Jeremy0826
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very nice.
The way you wrote it captures the reading in a very strong hold.
It was a good write and a good read, job well done.
-demon. known
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fabulous take on a prompt
yo ... yore good you ..
such emotion and this does tend to draw the reader in and keep em there till the end
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great work... i was mesmerised til the end...so good. you created the atmosphere brilliantly
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excellent. i love this, so sad and the letter sounded so human. well done on a well penned write, good luck in the contest x
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I have no critisism to offer but this; the seventh stanza second line I'd take out the second comma. But otherwise a great write and take on the prompt! Godd Luck in the contest!
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