There used to be a boy. His hair was an inky black sea and his left eyebrow was higher than his right. His irises were shrouded with clouds and he liked shiny things. He wore a watch, that, for all intents and purposes, was broken. It never showed anything but two fifteen. He looked as if someone had plucked him straight from another universe and flung him into this particular abyss. I think that's why he used most of his time trying to make sense of it all.
Summer
~
I didn’t know his name. I never did. He liked to wear stop-sign red, and his eyes changed color.
I found him standing over an insect. I thought he was talking to it.
Hi.
Whats your name?
Neha.
I’m –
Can I call you Jamie?
If you want to.
Jamie. I liked that name.
Fall
~
We didn’t speak to each other much. We mainly just did our own thing, but together. Maybe it was because we had nothing to talk about. Maybe because I didn’t want to know why he always wore long sleeves, and maybe he didn’t want to hear me damn the world for all eternity.
I asked him about his watch. He said he wasn't going to start it until he caught one of the two fifteen trains to Annapolis. As soon as he looked old enough to buy a ticket on his own, he was going away.
He made me promise not to come with him. I said I wouldn’t want to, even if he did. He always smelled like Vaseline and hydrochloric acid and sometimes, when I didn't go over, like his father.
Winter
~
Jamie swears that he can see angels. I said he was lying. He said he wasn’t. He told me they are the color of gray steel, and they never stand directly in front of you.
He grew two inches over Christmas break. His watch still shows two fifteen. I told him to get real, but his eyes got squinty and he tilted his head like he was confused.
Spring
~
I cry every day now. Jamie knows, he sees me, but he won’t ask me what’s wrong. I want him to ask me so badly, but he won’t. He knows why I’m so angry. He can see things normal people can’t. He just doesn’t seem to care. Or maybe he does. I can’t tell. His irises are shrouded with clouds.
I wanted to stop my watch too. I smashed it against a rock to make it freeze time, but the glass shattered and cut my finger. The minute hand broke. I threw it away.
Later that spring
~
Jamie loved to watch Friends. He never said so, but sometimes when I went over I caught him listening from behind the living room door, while his father smashed glass on the other side to drown out the laughter from the television.
Jamie?
What? He looked at me.
I hate that I’m not special.
Why do you hate that?
Because I want to be somebody important.
Here, I want you to keep this
He unfastened the golden clasp and placed the cool metal in my burning hand.
Why?
Because I don’t need it anymore
What about your train?
I’ll catch it. I can tell the time.
I broke my promise to him.
I’m coming with you.
He walked away. I didn’t follow him.
Summer
~
They found him in his bathroom. Without any clothes. No long sleeves. They saw the bruises and the cuts, but they were hardly visible through the curtain of vulnerability and shame that hung around him. They found the writing on the steamed up mirror. All it said was “I hate that I’m not special.”
His mother wiped it away and lit a cigarette.
I was the only one who noticed that the cuts were all evenly spaced, neatly lined up and the same exact length.
He’d always done well in math.
~
The station was crowded. Nobody knew Jamie was gone. Nobody was waiting for him. No steel gray angels. No people weeping, nobody asking why a girl with a dirt-streaked face was buying the ticket instead of a boy with black tar tangled into his hair.
I looked at the watch. There was a grain of sand jammed in the knob. I picked it out with my nail. The hands started ticking again. I turned it over. Engraved at the back in shaky letters were the words ‘property of sam’
A minute later, it was two sixteen.
~
Author notes
I took the train.
I can’t believe I never said his name.
c i r q u e
d u
s o l e i l
category # 2
A contest entry
- prose/freeverse. by etoile.
1800 points, ended July 9, 39 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - You Broke Me by MelissahhMidnite.
716 points, ended June 20, 43 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - help inspire me? by whiterabbit..
500 points, ended July 24, 24 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - favorites; what have I missed? by coloringmysenses.
1750 points, ended October 5, 19 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - im tired. give me prose. free verse. etc. by Tzipora.
600 points, ended September 8, 29 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I want you to love me; [inviteonly] by ladybug..
900 points, ended October 26, 102 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please help me make this better!
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
-
awwwww !
This is just beautiful. I'm at a loss for words...
-
This work of utter magnificence has left me with my heart stuttering at a pace that shouldn't be right. My dear, you have a tremendous way with words. Every word sucked me into the black hole of wanting to never let go.
You made me feel like these emotions will always be infinite.
You're incredible - always believe in yourself.
Thank you for entering and good luck! (:
-
this is incredible!
-
love it. this is an amazing story.
-
Fall
~
yea i loved it. im guessing by the golds you know others loved it as well.
well done. it really was a original, amazing write. -
I need the name of the other poem you commented on please. In your Author Notes.
-
That was stunning. I wanted it to keep on going, I really did. This was just...just beautiful. I'm at a loss for words.
-
omg. I'm at a loss for words, this is absolutely incredible. I cannot even begin to explain, I think this is one of your best pieces. I love it so much. every single word drew me in and the ending really packed a punch. love it.
goodluck and thanks for entering
-
This reminds me of the typical starting conversation at the start and yet, with a new spin on it. It reminded me a little bit of a past relationship that didn't go so well, but I still somehow value it with great affection.
-
not bad
-
wow thisis just amazing.
i love the story and the emotion.
thanks for entering
-
Amazing
Wow this was really amazing, i think it is absolutely perfect the way it is except maybe make sure the reader can tell who is speaking the second exchange of words between the two is a little skewed make sure your reader can tell who is saying what. Otherwise absolutely amazing one of my favorite poems ive read here!
-
i can say this is very great writting, you should wite abook bout hi, its good to read, lots of emotion, i love it
-
Another long thing. Well worth reading, though.
I liked a few parts of it a lot, and I liked the rest of it. Thanks.
Adding your comment:
1 - 14 of 14
