The feeling she gives you just being in her presence
Standing so close to her
And not being able to touch her
And then watching her leave
Not being able to say the words that sit at the front of your heart and mind,
Begging to be vocalized
And your tongue is paralyzed
Wanting to take her in your arms and kiss her,
Knowing to do so is wrong because of the situation you’re in
And not caring because you just know it would feel so right
Hearing her soft voice speaking in your ear
Wanting to be able to hear that sound every day, every night,
Yet knowing it’s not going to happen
Waking up from a dream of her
And not finding her lying there beside you
- HEaRt BRokEn group list • next in list
This is a first draft...constructive critizism please...
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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I love this amazing!!!
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OMG!
You've written the words I've said to myself so many times. The frustration and heartbreak which I've suffered because of my indecisiveness and fear of rejection have returned to me in your poem. No need to revise or change a word, your feelings come through loud and clear. I agree, this is a wonderful way of venting ones emotions and you have done it gloriously. Thank you for sharing this gem. Will be looking in on your site and also interested in your suggestion of publication of poems.
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Sorry I didn't reply sooner. Thanks for the wonderful comments. Go to www.createspace.com
I started using it last year and its really simple to publish your own book.
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It is PERFECT
What comes from your heart never needs to be polished. I absolutely feel your every word. It makes my heart feel heavy. When you can write so that the reader can identify or even feel, you know it's good!!
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I like it. It could use some work but i think it's cute.
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Granted it was done as a Freewrite here, but might I ask what you think needs work? I am always open to constructive critisism. Thanks.
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