She says I’m better than I fear
that I would never destroy their happiness
to gain back my own
I’m trying
to believe
to persevere
to uphold
But isn’t wanting it to fail
just as bad?
[Worse, even
in the shadows, in denial;
as long as I stay out of it
I am innocent]
What if it comes to pass?
My joy—her agony
That isn’t right
No such smiles
would be worth
anything
born from the ashes
of ~another’s~ tears
It’s not fair
It’s sickening
It would be
as if my want
caused her death
to happen
As if I am the monster
As if I am what I have always claimed
and so many have believed—
so many still believe...
She never did
She’d still love me
always
anyways
regardless
Would more, in fact
was this to come to pass...
I don’t trust myself
I hate what I could be
I fear what I cannot prevent
My only control
is to refrain from the negative...
~Not good enough, goddammit!~
Author notes
My best friend has faith in me for us both. I'm so worried.
I don't care what you think. I know it needs editing. It's pain, not poetry. It's to take the edge off, not impact the world. Fuck the world. Fuck everything.
Comments
-
Of course I have faith in you! I know you're better than going out destroying a person's happy to make you happy.
Great poem. -
-
Without you...I don't know what :/
Ha ha. Yeah. Keep that up for the both of us.
YAY
Oh, and did you notice that this is similar to the end of The Host? "It would be / as if my want / caused her death / to happen"...
-
-
Wow~
Oooooooooooooh when I read the note in the AC- for some reason I smiled~ Your best friend has faith in You Believes in You~ that is Beautiful
The last three lines in Your verse...
I Believe in You~ and You are Good Enough
I don't have doubts in what You can aspire too
If I did...I would not be a Friend~ You Inspire me
Thank You for sharing Your Heart
Best wishes in all You do
with love & light~ Desire~*~
-
-
She really is
Thank you.
-
Adding your comment:
