sheer curtains blow in the afternoon breeze
slapping at my feet
that dangle over the bed
where I lay limp
peering though tears
into the empty place
where you would have sat
sparkling in the sun
smiling at the curtains
enjoying the breeze...
Author notes
In getting into Bella's head, during a lonely moment, while Edward was away all those months...we may find her thoughts more resemble free verse or prose. The thought's of a broken heart....
A contest entry
- Twilight! by purplemoon.
450 points, ended November 5, 50 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Truely a wonderful way to sumarize the months edward was away. Bravo!
Thanks for the entry.
~Kathryn -
Wow. that's cool. i guess ur into twilight then. lol.
i love that book.
this is a cool way to look at her thoughts.
: -
The KISS principle is something to behold, the less is more, the more is less whichever it may be the poem is excellent.
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I could see myself there watching the scene unfold. No wasted words, no unnecessary fluff, just pain in an indifferent mix of physical elements. Well done with it.
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A moment in time........
maybe a few seconds.....
a moment that is captured...
a new day...
the beauty of
the days gone by....
Such a stirring contrast lass .....
there is a mixture of melancholy...
light ....with sweet gentle breezes ....
yet the mind of a poet drifts to even a brighter day....
of simple joys
and how they are missed so.
I would not change a thing here.
Simply beautiful,
Bless you lass,
Liam
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Thank you kindly, Liam.
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beautifully written.
awesome write.
"sparkling in the sun
smiling at the curtains
enjoying the breeze...
"
I really like this ending. -
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i don't know what to say about this.......it is quite beautiful......well done.....
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