I tried one time to grow a brain
hidden in the sugar cane.
I cleared a little sunny plot
dug in manure and let it rot.
I waited a week and then waited another
and then started planting (with help from my brother).
I gathered up all of the books I could find
and some magazines too plus some cucumber rind.
I Dug it all under with computer chips
and a dusty old beethoven record that skips.
Then added some chocolate chip cookie dough
and some prints of Picasso, Monet and Van Gogh.
But that wasn't enough so I added some more
like one of each item from the one-dollar store.
And a mercedes hub cap I found on the road
plus some reptiles, a turtle, two snakes and a toad.
I collected some feathers and a lightweight stunt kite
and collected fresh snowflakes with childish delight.
I added some hot apple pie and ice cream
with a great slab of cheddar (a pie lover's dream).
Then I shoveled it under and packed it down tight
and went home and slept for the rest of the night.
The next morning awoke and went out to my plot
but it looked just the same or at least so I thought.
'Cause under the thin skin of loam at the top
things were starting to percolate, starting to pop.
Why in just a few days and a heavy spring rain
I was overjoyed to find I had grown a new brain.
So in case you were wondering how I turned out so weird
let my mother's and father's good names both be cleared.
I'm a product of too much idle time and manure,
oh yes, and the brain? Quite tasty, barbecued on a skewer.
Author notes
Written March 16th, 2004
In a list
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Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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Hahaha! Sorry,I saw "short", but must have skimmed right over the 15-line limit... Hang on while I plumb for something shorter...
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sorry, it's a problem of length. I am asking for short poems only (1-15 lines in length.) The shorter, the better. I will take this out of the contest so you have a chance to enter six more pieces.
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Funny, but with a touch of depth. You keep us entertained, but I think individual readers will draw something useful from their own frame of reference. While your description is humorous, it also draws us in and reminds us of some of our own doings. Reading through it had me not only smiling at your words, but at myself as well.
Nicely done. Good luck in the contest and thanks for enterring
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this from the first couple of lines has a whacking sense of humour that i rather enjoy and i had that that its very well written and hope for you all the best, and good luck in my contest
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Well you know what they say... GIGO (Garbage In, Garbage Out)
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Ah yes.. I know.. you've cooked it in the skewer... but at one time you must have been intellectual, before digestion started and waste was removed...
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I wouldn' exactly call myself an intellectual... I'm not wearing the brain. I ate it.
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Ah ha! So that's your secret!! Perhaps there's magic stuffs behind blue eyes that I've not yet mastered.... any ideas there "intellectual one" ?
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Blue eyes rule! With proper distillation techniques, even a manure-fed brain can hide behind eyes as blue as mine.
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\LOL I must say.. you've got such knowledge from that brain of yours!!! A bit of everything I see, I think what I'm lacking in is the manure, as my eyes are blue and not brown. Ya' know they say those with brown eyes are full of sh*...
I think I must have subsituted water or something... which could be my problem.. Oh.. I'm rambling you say? Sorry.. didn't realize you were reading
I enjoyed this read.. lol.. You've got quite an imagination,
and it's no wonder with the brain you've grown. Keep up the humor... laughter is the only way!
~Aimee
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Very funny and well writen. Now I know where brains come from and when people tell me I`m full of sh** I can say yuppers you can grow one too in a giff...lol xo
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i think it was the toad...you do know that if you touch them, you will get warts! now, since you added this reptile to your concoction, it is obvious that the brain was wart infected, thus resulting in the tasty flavour and aroma once roasted. next time, try a newt instead. you may also want to leave out the cheddar...your fat content is too high...however, you can substitute mozzarella if you like. believe me...it works...my brain grew quite nicely, and the subsequent transplant surgery went well. i appreciate the get-well-soon card you sent. thanks!
~liz -
Well then, if I was a full grown adult, I'd take the blame, but I've yet to figure out what I wanna be when I grow up.
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I never, ever blame parent when a full grown adult is certifiable..Their children maybe... But you I thik are an original.. This as always is very humerous in your quirky little way... I loved it.. Hope Ed is right and you stay the front runner... Susan
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Well done and tasty
And as fertile as your imagination is, I kept trying to envision what all the influences you tilled in would blend together to produce. - silly me. How was I to know the answer was a roast - well done. -
Mister DevilEd (yeah...I'll call him Mister this once) breaks rules as often as he can -- so there's no reason to think he's going to hold anyone to rules that he thinks up. He can't count to 25 anyway -- not since the mugging when they took his left leg. I think he's limited to counting to 15 now (if his shoes are off).
This is pretty funny. I enjoyed it. You show a damn fine imagination. I was gonna grow a brain once, but I couldn't find the yeast. Figured I'd cut some corners, save some time and just do in the bread machine.
Nice write. Best of luck! -
you could be right,i think its definitely good enough maybe ed666 meant that he would only read the first 25 lines of anything submitted
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Good lord! Perhaps if I were to remove the medulla oblongata and all the piece parts that went into it's creation I could shorten it down to the requisite 25 lines! On the other hand, Ed the Head already betrayed his wanton disregard for his own rules by reading it and commenting. Or perhaps he merely stopped on the 25th line and decided it was good enough? Hmmm....
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LOL at Plinkyponk's comment. Yes, I've had encounters with ed666 and always consider it a great compliment to get any sort of praise from him. This was indeed a unique poem that tickled my funny bone. Good luck in the contest! I don't think I'll be competing against you in this one.
Jennifer -
captivatingly original but more than twenty five lines methinks
but who cares about rules especially if ed666 has made them up he never obeys any so why should we...this is great and fun -
Very funny, and currently the frontrunner, as every other poem i have read in this contest could be used as manure for you to grow another brain. Though i may have to use it myself.
Good one.
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