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The girl who lost her way but found her way again

There was this beautiful girl with black hair and brown eye's that shined
And she knew who she loved but another guy wanted her so the other guy asked her out And then she got lost because that was the wrong path and she knew she need to go ask out the man she truely loved witch he was always there to protect her from any harm and any guy that wanted to mess with her and then they kissed so deeply... 

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  • Black Wolf
    June 6
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    Its a great write, is it to be a story? or a poem, it leaves ya hanging as if a story may take place. and would she kiss the man she loved or is she possibly kissing the man who asked her out. it makes one think that is forsure, a great write and thanks for joining the Allpoetry team.


  • Polaja Greeters member
    June 4
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    Welcome to AllPoetry!

    This is an interesting poem I think that if you formatted it a little more like a poem with shorter lines it would flow a little easier, but I liked the words and the feelings that this contained!

    Welcome to the site, I hope that you enjoy your time here at AllPoetry!


    Polly
    Site Greeter


  • Manda Kathryn Greeters member
    June 4
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    Welcome to AllPoetry

    There is an element of deep romance in this that shines lovely but poetically I think this would benefit from some spacing of the lines to allow flow and a quick spell check [witch - which ]

    Wonderful write
    I hope you enjoy AllPoetry & continue to share your words with us
    ♥
    Stay safe
    ~Manda
    Site Greeter